10 quotes to help you on Valentine’s Day

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People either love or hate Valentine’s Day, but one thing is inevitable: we all have to get through it. So whether you are in a committed relationship, married, dating or are single, we want you to thrive on February 14.

That could mean taking your partner out, and making a commitment to spending quality time together more often. Or, it could mean spending the night with your friends and celebrating life and independence with them.

If you’re not sure how to feel about Valentine’s Day, then we’ve got you covered.  We’ve chosen 10 quotes that sum up the beauty of finding and maintaining love, as well what it means to truly love ourselves no matter what season of life we’re in.

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day? Let us know in the comments below!

Valentines Day infographic quotes

Are you concerned about your relationship with your significant other or spouse? Are you single and want to become your best self? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

Ten steps to make a new place your home

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At some point or another, we all move away: to a new house, a new city, or if you’re like me, a new country. And while this transition may be more common for students who move away for their education, lots of adults find themselves in the middle of this scenario too.

When we uproot ourselves from our home, we face a whole new collection of challenges. Your social structure is mostly non-existent, your everyday routine has been tossed in the air, and simple questions like, “How do I get to the nearest Target?” can send you into a spiral of Google searches and awkward conversation starters.

We have to find our footing at our new place of employment (or find employment) and must learn to navigate a whole new culture. And to be honest, it’s difficult to establish yourself when no one knows you and you know nothing about them.

If this is you, then I’m right there too. The transition to a new home isn’t easy, but it is do-able. Here are ten steps I’m following while I try to make myself a home in a new city. 

  1. Find a place to belong

Before you make the move, identify a community you can build a life around. It could be new housemates, new work mates, a parents group, a church, a book club or a gym. This will centralise you and give you something to work towards straight away.

  1. Find mutual friends

It’s likely that a friend, colleague or loved one knows someone in your new city, or at least knows someone who has been there. Ask your mutual friend to connect you over Facebook or text, and see if you can meet up for coffee or go for a walk. In a perfect world, this would lead to a great friendship, but even if you don’t ‘click’, they’ll be able to give you great advice on how to set up your life there.

  1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

The first few months in a new place are rough, purely because everything is so different. If you need help moving, finding a job, getting transport or finding directions, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Ask your new community (from step 1), a mutual friend (step 2), or even the city tourism office. If all else fails, talk to your family and friends back home.

  1. Go exploring

Take an afternoon to wander around your new neighbourhood and meet the people there. Find the local convenience store, the best coffee shop, and see what people do for fun. Once you’re settled in this, branch out and take public transport or drive downtown and to other suburbs locals suggest. Make this your city.

  1. Don’t be afraid to fail

Transition isn’t easy. There are some days you will feel accomplished, like you’re fitting in and the move was the best decision you ever made. Other days you will question why you came here and how you can keep going. It’s okay. In the moments when the negatives seem to outside the positives, take a breath and talk to someone from home. Give yourself permission to break routine and recharge, and then keep going.

  1. Be innovative

You have to think outside the box when you’re on your own. The ways and means you normally would have achieved things won’t always work here. So if you’re sick, lost or lack transport, get creative. Think about the ways other people handle these situations, and instead of calling home (which is now hundreds of miles away), look online. I once had medicine and lunch delivered to me through an app because I couldn’t get out of bed.

  1. Back yourself

No matter how you’re feeling or what self doubt comes your way, you’ve got this. You were strong enough to make this transition, and you can complete it. So be kind and gracious with yourself, and celebrate the wins. Every new day is a victory, as is every new social encounter, journey through the city and dinner invitation.

  1. Find a place that reminds you of home

Often the places we move to are completely foreign to us. The way things look, sound and smell are completely different to what we are familiar with, and it takes time to adjust. If you can, find a place in your new city that reminds you of home. It may be in the natural environment (for instance, by a beach or in a forest), or a coffee shop that smells familiar.

  1. Create a routine

Transition is difficult because you have moments of emptiness where you don’t know what to do. Begin to create a routine so your life has some kind of structure. Go to work, find a gym, commit to a community group, go to church, join a sports club or create a social night at home where you relax with housemates or your spouse. Plan these things out in a diary, and you will feel purposeful.

  1. Say ‘yes’

Did someone at work invite you out for drinks? Say yes. Did a friend suggest a local restaurant or movie theatre? Say yes. Did an acquaintance add you on Facebook? Say yes. You have nothing to lose in this new season. So short of taking care of yourself, don’t be afraid to say yes to new people and opportunities that come your way. You never know what will come out of them.

Have you moved away from home? Would you like to explore strategies and techniques to help you through this transition? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

The top anxiety blogs of 2018

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It’s a new year, and the Watersedge team have a reason to celebrate, because we were just named one of the top anxiety blogs of 2018 by Home Remedies for Life!

We are so privileged to stand along side other renowned wellness blogs like The Mighty, Blue Light Blue and Honest Mom. Whether you’re after a personal perspective on battling with anxiety, or a more clinical or educational approach, this list gives you a huge range of options that will help you feel less alone.

You can see the full list here. Thank you to our friends at Home Remedies for Life for adding us to the list. We are so excited to share our new content with you in 2018!

Do you experience anxiety? Would you like to explore strategies and techniques to overcome it in your life? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

 

10 natural ways to overcome anxiety

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An estimated 1 in 10 Australians and 1 in 6 Americans are taking antidepressants, but research shows that while these professional prescribed medications can be beneficial for many people, it can also have potentially nasty side effects. These include tremors, headaches, indigestion, vomiting and even insomnia. The good news is that if you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you can try these healthy alternatives.

Good natural ways to overcome anxiety are to eat certain foods that boost your mood and take up activities that calm your mind.

Examples for stress reducing foods are fish and walnuts, which contain Omega-3 for healthy brain cells. Turmeric is a great spice, which works as well as the popular drug Prozac and can be consumed in any amount. Another popular choice is the St. Johns Wort herb, which has been used as a natural antidepressant since the Renaissance.

Activities include exercising, meditation and certain breathing techniques are also great natural cures for anxiety. Working up a sweat for just 30 minutes three times a week will make a big difference in mood and stress levels.

And doing it outside provides even more benefits because the sun recharges your Vitamin D deposit, which has a big effect on your mood. Mindful meditation helps you find peace with your inner self.

If you’ve tried medication and are unhappy with the results, * or you are looking for a natural alterative, start by eating well and having an active lifestyle. This has a huge impact on your journey to an anxiety-free life. 

10-natural-ways-to-overcome-anxiety

Are you interested in the natural ways you can manage anxiety? Would you like support before you head to your doctor to talk about anti-depressant medication? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

*Speak to your doctor or a medical professional before making any changes to your prescribed medication. If you are experiencing any physical or mental symptoms that concern you after choosing natural remedies, speak to your doctor immediately.

Rene is a writer for homeremediesforlife blog where he investigates ways to battle anxiety, depression and stress without the use of drugs. You can read his article about the most powerful natural antidepressants here: Home Remedies for Anxiety

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How to identify Domestic Abuse

How-to-identify-Domestic-Abuse

Have you ever wondered if your significant other is abusing you? Maybe they push you, lash out violently or pressure you to take part in unwanted sexual activity. Or perhaps you are unsettled by their passive-aggressive behaviour: they way they monitor your financials, your phone, or keep you from seeing other people.

When we’re in an abusive relationship, it is easy to excuse these actions as ‘normal’. Maybe your partner even makes you feel like these incidences are your fault, and this is what a standard, committed relationship looks like. Perhaps you’ve found every excuse possible for your spouse, because they promise they will change and you love them.

This infographic by NowSourcing and FreeDating.co.uk lays out exactly what Domestic Abuse is. Aside from detailing the stats that show how prevalent this is in households across America and the world, it also pin points the different types of Domestic Abuse you may encounter.

These include emotional and psychological abuse; physical abuse; sexual abuse; financial abuse and digital abuse. Take a look at the infographic and see if you recognise any of these traits in your relationship.

Are you concerned about the way your significant other is treating you and/or your children? Are you afraid for your safety, or are you scared to come home? PLEASE ask for help. This is not reflective of a normal, healthy relationship and you are worthy of feeling safe and secure.

In Australia, please call 1800-RESPECT, or 000 to access help immediately.

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Are you concerned your significant other may be abusing you? Would you like support as you navigate the best way to move forward in your relationship? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

How to deal with stress in everyday life

Stress influences everybody. Regardless of your age, sexual orientation or identity, we all know how stress feels. A great number of people choose to overlook the worry in their life since they think it simply comes from the pressure of their surroundings and they should ‘toughen up’ and ‘get over it’. However, when stress is ignored, it can influence our lives significantly.

Stress can be positive and negative. Positive pressure will influence you to work when you don't feel like it and you will accomplish your objectives. Yet negative pressure will put an enormous STOP sign on your cerebrum and you won’t move forward.

This negative pressure will influence you to feel apprehensive and stressed, and it will estrange you from everybody. That is often the manner by which negative pressure influences your life—it begins positively, yet when the anxiety rises it develops into an awful expectation that pulls you down.

When we battle pressure, we must do it consistently. Discover an interest, schedule time or create a routine that will allow you to unwind consistently. This can include swimming, bicycle riding, going out for a stroll, perusing a book, and hanging out with your companions or family over a foosball table or other entertainment.

Create a routine and stick to it. When individuals have a strong routine in their life, they feel relaxed because it gives them the sentiment of control. You will realise that, regardless of what is going on in your life, you will unwind with that movement.

Bear in mind to put yourself first and let the pressure leave your body since it will enhance your life all around. As life goes on and stress comes your way, you will be able to better comprehend and oversee it. Remember—keep in mind to unwind!

How to deal with stress in everyday life

 

Do you feel stressed? Would you like support as you look for ways to relax and live a balanced life? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

Mark Čop is a blogger who made this infographic about pressure since he sees the significance of managing worry in regular day-to-day existence. His most loved stressor is his blog about foosball, on the grounds that he is dependent on foosball and trusts that it is definitive against stretch treatment. You can read more about his treatment on his blog called the Foosball Zone

Five ways to keep your New Year’s Resolution

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A new year is a fresh start, and most of us go into it with a list of hopes, goals and plans. So have you come up with your New Year’s Resolution yet?

It may be repairing a broken relationship, bettering your physical or mental health, or getting a promotion at work. Whatever your goal for 2018 is, it will require commitment to achieve it. Because, if we’re honest, most of us fall short towards the end of January and our resolutions are long forgotten by June.

Here are five ways you can ensure you keep your New Year’s Resolution into January and beyond.

  1. Write it down

It’s simple, but once you write down your resolution it becomes permanent. Stick it on your bathroom mirror or write it in your diary so every day you’re reminded of your goal. This will keep you motivated and accountable.

  1. Get an accountability partner

Tell a friend or family member about your resolution, and have them check in about it once every few weeks. If your goal can be achieved with a partner (for instance, by going to the gym together), then choose to pursue it with their help.  This will keep you motivated on the days when it all feels too much.

  1. Set achievable goals

Take your resolution and divide it into 12 monthly goals. This isn’t just useful for health related goals—if your resolution is to restore your marriage then a goal may be attending counselling, going out for a date every week or surprising your partner with a gift.

  1. Reward yourself

Each time you meet a goal on the way to achieving your resolution, reward yourself. By yourself a gift, go for a long walk, or have a weekend getaway. Celebrate the ‘small’ things because you’ve worked hard to reach them and this will keep up your momentum through the year.

  1. Forgive yourself

Most of us throw our resolutions in the can when we fail them early on. We binge on unhealthy food, are fearful of the extensive inner work we need to do, or give up on a relationship all together.

Make your resolution with the knowledge that you will make mistakes. There will be days you don’t meet your goal—and that’s ok. What’s important is that you forgive yourself, pick up the reins and start again. The journey to your resolution doesn’t have to be perfect; you just need to get there. 

Do you want to start again in the New Year? Would you like support to achieve your New Year’s Resolution? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

10 conversation starters for awkward holiday parties

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December is prime time for awkward conversations. There are work break ups, and family reunions, catch-ups with friends and community gatherings—all which require a certain amount of social prowess.

As someone with social anxiety, these events exhaust me. Having to navigate awkward questions about my relationship status and side step political banter means I don’t have a lot to give when it comes to starting conversations.

Come January 1, lots of us feel this way. So to help you along the way, we’ve come up with 10 great conversation starters for you. Pull one out next time you’re standing next to an introvert or when your second cousin once removed is seated next to you on Christmas Day.

All going well, this will create a conversation deep enough to go beyond weather talk, but light enough to avoid the unmentionables—politics, religion and having kids.

  1. What do you do with yourself when you’re not working?

This is a fail-safe way to find out about a person’s general interests. Maybe they’ve just started Cross Fit, are taking the kids to basketball practice, or belong to a religious community. You may even have something in common!

  1. What are your plans for the New Year?

This general open-ended question gives the other person permission to talk about whatever they want—holidays, new goals in the work place, their hope to start a family, or their plans to travel.

  1. Have you seen any good movies lately?

Short of having someone say, “I’m not really a movie person,” this is bound to start a conversation about the definitive ranking of Star Wars movies, great rom-coms, historical masterpieces or your favourite superhero. 

  1. Tell me about your work.

Some people can go on about their work for ages, so this opens up a lengthy conversation that will also identify what their vocation is and how they entered the industry. Steer clear of this if you’ve heard someone is searching for work or has been unable to go due to health reasons. If they’re searching, just say, “Oh, great! What are you looking for?”

  1. Do you have any animals?

Because who DOESN’T want to talk about their fur babies, and want to show strangers the collection of adorable photos they have of them on their phone?

  1. What are your kids interested in?

Obviously this is only useful if you’re speaking to a parent, but children are a great talking point—especially if you’re a relative. You’ll hear about their school work, their extra curricular activities, their health and their favourite TV show. Some parents will be more comfortable talking about their kids than themselves!

  1. Did you see [insert name of TV show/movie here]?

If you’re talking to someone in a similar age bracket, there’s a good chance they at least know about the TV shows and movies you’re into. If not, choose a generic movie or TV event few people miss—like Carols in the Domain, the New Years Countdown or a long-awaited miniseries about an iconic person. 

  1. What are you reading/watching at the moment?

The perfect question for avid readers or Netflix fans—this gives people the opportunity to talk about what they love and why. You’re giving them an outlet for their obsession. Trust me, they love it.

  1. Take a look at this video!

Find a hilarious video on Facebook and share it with your long-suffering compatriot. Animal videos are always worthwhile, although you can find some holiday-themed gems as well.

  1. What surprised you about this year?

This is an out of the box question that is sure to get the wheels turning in their head. While they’re considering their answer, come up with your own. This will lengthen the conversation and give you a chance to really get to know someone else.

Do you feel anxiety around the holiday season? Would you like support as you navigate difficult relationships or awkward conversations? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

Are you moving on or running away? : Eight keys to navigate life transitions

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Transitions are never easy. We’re often faced with them after a season of stability and apparent ‘safety’, and this means the idea of rolling the dice on a new adventure, relationship or experience, is terrifying.

Transitions provide us with three options: stay where we are, leap into a new experience, or run away. If you’re a self-doubter like me, you may even sway between two or three of these options, unsure what the next step is. You may doubt your motives, your readiness, or be in complete denial about what the next step in your life should be.

There is no ‘one size fits all’ answer in transition. Each of us will respond differently when they arise, and the best and healthiest course of action will vary. Often, the answer lies in our ability to recognise whether we are running away from a situation or if we’re naturally moving on to something new.

Are you in a period of transition? I sure am, and these are eight questions I’ve asked myself to assess my best course of action for my future.

  1. Am I afraid of the future?

Sometimes, the fear of the unknown and what may go wrong (or right) keep us from moving into a new phase of life.  We can all take steps to prepare for the future, but there comes a time when we need to take a risk and move forward. Don’t let fear hold you back.

  1. Am I afraid of staying still?

Perpetual transition and the inability to put down roots is the trademark of someone who is afraid to stay still in life. If you’re afraid of what life could be like if you stopped and invested in relationships, a community or a business, then it may be time to stop running and plant yourself for a season.

  1. Am I afraid for the safety of my loved ones or myself?

One of the most common transitions comes when we step out of a relationship. In any long-term or marriage relationship, it’s important you see a counsellor (preferably with your partner) as it’s always preferential that you save a relationship rather than break up.

BUT if you fear for your safety and the emotional wellbeing of yourself and your family, it is time for you to leave. Call it running away or moving on—it makes no difference when your wellbeing is involved.

If you’re experiencing domestic abuse or violence, call 1800-RESPECT.

  1. Do I have commitment issues?

If you’re scared of being in a long-term relationship, you’ll consistently run away from anyone that threatens your independence. Sometimes this happens before a relationship can evolve, and other times you’ll casually date or hook up before the other person asks for a commitment and you run for the hills. Don’t be in denial about it. You are allowed to live a single, happy independent life, but if you’re living it out of fear of committing to a single person it’s time to do some work on yourself.

  1. What are my responsibilities?

Whether you’re moving on or running away from responsibility—and whether you should—will largely depend on what they are. Responsibility for your loved ones, especially children, will always come first. Sacred responsibilities like this should never be run from, just nurtured so you feel supported in the process.

However, if your responsibilities are work related, or are tied to unhealthy family or relationship attachments, then a different course of action may be required. Unrealistic expectations that negatively infringe on your health, happiness and the people around you shouldn’t be adhered to.

You need to move on from these responsibilities, either by seeking new employment, gaining external support through a counsellor, or changing your routine so you live a healthier and happier lifestyle.

  1. Am I prepared?

Are you prepared to stand still and fight for your relationship? Are you willing to take a leap of faith and make a new life for yourself with a new job, relationship or community? Are you ready to leave the pain of the past behind?

Preparation isn’t just physical; it’s emotional too. If you’re willing to make an emotional commitment to the next (or current) phase in your life, you’re ready to take the next step.

  1. Who am I doing this for?

Irrespective of whether you stay, run or move on, the people you do it for will determine how healthy the transition is. Committing to a relationship or working on a current one are both risks worth your time—they are about your happiness, and the happiness of the people around you.

However, if you’re basing your next life transition on the unhealthy expectations of others or unrequited love, believing you will be more ‘whole’ if you take this step, you need to stop and reassess. Who you are is enough, and transition is about becoming more ‘you’, not proving yourself to others.

  1. What do I want?

What do you want for your life? Do you want safety, security and a place to belong? Or maybe you want to live an adventurous and exhilarating life, full of unexpected moments and people. How you answer this question will help you determine if you need to stay, take a leap of faith or move on to something new.

Are you going through a life transition? Are you running away from something or need support to save a relationship? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

10 Things to do if you’re lonely this Christmas

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While Christmas is often called the ‘Happiest time of the year,’ for many people who are doing the holiday season alone, it actually leaves them feeling isolated and lonely. Maybe you don’t have any friends or family to celebrate with, you may not celebrate Christmas, or perhaps the stress of the season is all getting a bit too much? We thought we'd put together a list of 10 great ideas and activities that you might be interested in. Hopefully this will make the coming weeks all the more enjoyable, and something you’ll remember for years to come.

  1. Volunteer

There are plenty of opportunities to volunteer over the holiday season. If you’re lonely, go and help people and not only will you be in community, but you’ll feel great as well! If you just want a shake up or feel like you’ve lost the true meaning of the season, then contact your local church, charity or community centre and ask them if you can help out with a food drive, community dinner, or other activity.

  1. Become a tourist in your hometown

Mix up your day and become a tourist in your hometown. Go and see the major attractions, visit a shopping hot spot, take a historical tour or splurge and go on a coffee crawl for the day. You’ll distract yourself and have a wonderful time becoming reacquainted with your own city.

  1. Go to a carols service or New Years Party

If you’d like to feel festive on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, going along to a community carols event is the perfect solution! Listen to your community radio station, read your local newspaper or call a near by church and see what they have on offer. There may also be New Years’ festivities open to the public that are being advertised. Check out what’s available and get along to see the fireworks.

  1. Call an old friend

This time of year is perfect for becoming reacquainted with old friends and making peace with those you’ve had a falling out with. Call someone you haven’t spoken to for a while and wish them a Merry Christmas. Ask them about their year, their family and what 2016 holds.

  1. Visit your local library, museum or art gallery

If you’re bored, head out and create an adventure for yourself by visiting the library, museum or art gallery. Take your time and enjoy the experience by visiting each section and appreciating what it has to offer. If there’s a café attached, bring a good book or buy one there and allow yourself to become engulfed in the environment after you’ve looked around for a few hours.  

  1. Make a Happy Box

The folks at Resilient App have come up with the great idea of putting together a Happy Box to soothe you when you are feeling down. Selecting objects like hand cream, a good book, M&M’s, bubble wrap (because who doesn’t like to pop bubbles?) or a scented candle and putting them in a box are all useful when you are feeling low or stressed. Make yourself a Happy Box over the holiday period and enjoy the long-term benefits of it in 2016.

  1. Treat yourself

Treat yourself to a nice meal and a movie. Sometime it’s more fun going and doing these activities by yourself, so go and choose a restaurant you’ve been bursting to eat at and see a movie you know you’ll love. It could be a chick flick, or it could be Star Wars- it doesn’t matter. Just treat yourself to an evening of pampering.

  1. Have coffee with a friend

We’re all busy this time of year, but you’ll find people are happy to catch up for an hour over coffee. Choose a near by café and take the chance to catch up with your friend while enjoying some yummy food. You’ll leave feeling happy and contented knowing you’ve truly invested in an important relationship.

  1. Learn something new

Pick up that cross stitch you gave up on, research a course you can join in the new year, or watch YouTube tutorials on how to become a photographer. The sky is the limit when it comes to learning something new, so take the time to read, watch, learn and practice a new skill. In the New Year you’ll blow everyone away with your brilliant new talent!

  1. Give a gift

If you feel isolated this Christmas, one sure way of feeling less alone is by being generous. Lots of charities partner with major retail outlets over December to provide Christmas gifts to people doing it tough during the holiday season. Go to the Christmas tree in the centre of the store (like Kmart or Target), pick a tag and make it your mission to find a perfect gift for that person. Place it under the tree, and come Christmas you know that a parent, child, teen or a grandparent feels a little less alone this Christmas thanks to you.

Do you want to live a whole and healthy life? Would you like support as you navigate life-changing issues or circumstances? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.