How to find love (and keep it) with Adam LoDolce of Sexy Confidence

When it comes to romantic relationships, everyone seems to have more questions than answers—except for Adam LoDolce. For the last several years, he has been coaching women on how to find the love they deserve through his brand Sexy Confidence. He has been featured on CNN, MTV and Women’s Health, and has helped 83 million women find their own sexy confidence.

Adam was kind enough to answer some questions for us about dating myths, why self-confidence is the key to sexiness, and how he took the path to become one of the top dating experts in the world

WE: How and why did Sexy Confidence start?

AL: I actually used to teach men how to go out and date women—confidence techniques and how to be more sociable, how to have great body language and what to say when going out and meeting women. I was featured in CNN and a ton of other websites, and randomly I had one article that was featured in Glamour.

I had so many women reaching out to me for advice about men. And I found out that, as I was getting these questions, I actually know more about attraction for women than I do about attraction for men.

At that point I decided I was going to start a new brand called Sexy Confidence purely giving advice to women on my YouTube channel. Within about 6 months it absolutely blew up, and I stopped coaching men and focused all my attention there.

WE: What is the number one concern women come to you with?

AL: Ultimately, it really is that the guy that they want or are attracted to doesn’t want to commit to them. It is generally an issue of commitment. They started seeing a guy and he’s great, and he’s fun—great chemistry, great sex, all that stuff. But he doesn’t actually want a relationship. Then what do they do? That is a concern.

WE: What are the biggest myths women believe about relationships?

AL: One of the biggest myths is that you should wait for love to come to you. Just sit back, and it will come when you least expect it. I think that’s a huge myth. I think it’s key to get out there and push yourself.

I always coach and suggest that my clients go out and be confident in themselves and go out and meet people. It doesn’t mean you should just straight up go and hit on a guy, but definitely out yourself in scenarios where you can be social and meet lots of new people.

WE: Why is it so important women fully understand and appreciate their self worth before they enter a relationship?

AL: Because ultimately you set the standard for how people treat you. If you find yourself in a bad relationship with a guy who doesn’t treat you well, and you just take it, don’t do anything about it, and don’t set a standard, then he’s just going to keep treating you that way. I find that’s true in life with any relationships—not just romantic.

WE: What is the first step a woman should take who wants to re-enter the dating scene after a big break up?

AL: The biggest thing is to take time to rediscover your identity and enjoy just being single again. Don’t feel like you just have to jump right back into the singles scene right after a breakup.

WE: How has understanding the female mindset and empowering women helped you in your own life?

AL: It has certainly helped me in my own relationship. I’ve been with Jessica for over three years now, and every single day I hear something new from women and I always take in that knowledge and try and be more empathetic and more understanding with my own interpersonal relationship, because relationships are always hard in some way.

In some way, all relationships are a bit messy in life; so don’t assume that it’s got to be absolutely perfect. Every dating and relationship coach I’ve ever met has their own troubles in their own relationships. Not always major troubles, I don’t myself. But it’s never perfect. 

WE: Why have you dedicated your life to helping women become sexy confident?

AL: My whole goal with Sexy Confidence is to help women be more confident and help them love themselves for who they are, and that is the key to being happy with your life. Because no matter what—even if you are single or are in a relationship, you can still be happy with who you are.

To find more out about Adam and Sexy Confidence, visit

If you have recently experienced a break up and believe that your relationship can and should be saved, you can also see his new Winning Him Back program about recovering from heartbreak. 

Are you looking for love? Is there conflict in your romantic relationship you can’t resolve, or have you gone through a recent heartbreak? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243, or BOOK ONLINE NOW to book in our online diary.


How to find common ground in your relationships when you have different political values


Politics has always been somewhat taboo in society. While we discuss the pros and cons of different laws and events, no one ever stated how they voted, at least until the events of the past few years occurred.

Since different Prime Ministers and Presidents have been inaugurated, it has become increasingly clear that society is more divided than ever. Hot topics such as same sex marriage, women’s rights, border control, gun control and health care have risen to such prominence that relationships are breaking because we hold different values and adamantly fight for them.

It’s not bad to disagree with people, or to speak up for what be believe in (that’s the basis of a democratic society after all), but when these issues start to break families, romantic relationships, friendships and community groups, we need to address the rift they’re causing. Why? Because if we’re not careful, they’ll destroy the relationships we value most in life and cause us bitterness, anxiety and grief.

This is not a blog about changing your political values or even how you express them—rather, it’s about how to meet the people you love and value where they’re at, so you can learn from each other and find common ground.

It can all feel a bit overwhelming, so we’ve narrowed it down to five steps. This is how to find common ground in your relationships when you have different political values:

  1. Figure out your common values

Any relationship is built on common values.  Political differences may currently cause a rift in your relationship, but your commonalities can help you build a bridge to meet each other in the middle. Figure out what you both value and go from there: it could be family values, a healthy economy, faith, health care or justice.

Use this as a springboard to empathise with your loved one or colleague. When they say or do things you disagree with, remember the core values they hold and where these actions come from.

  1. Create a safe place

To sustain your relationship, you need to create a safe place (either literally or metaphorically) where you can do life together without politics. This might sound impossible, especially when your political values are so personal, but it will enable your relationship to grow instead of die in bitterness and contempt.

Meet together for coffee, or play a team sport together.  Do something you both enjoy, and make it a ‘politics free zone’. This doesn’t devalue your political stance or assume you defer to theirs, it just means you value the relationship above your need to win them over.

  1. Be honest

If you have a problem with what your friend or colleague is saying, let them know, but keep is positive and avoid passive aggressive social media posts or gossip. Be aware that they may not understand your point of view, and come to peace with this. Respect their right to have a different opinion to your own.

Some people will be open to having discussions about political differences, and this can create a life-giving environment where you both learn and grow from each other. However, if discussion turns into an argument or slander, you need to exit. This is not deferring to their point of view, but valuing your time and dignity because you know the conversation is fruitless.

  1. Avoid it

Let’s be clear, avoidance is rarely ever a healthy strategy, but occasionally it is needed after you have established a difference of opinion.

For instance, if a family dinner or holiday is coming around and you know a relative will be there who has some radical opinions, it’s probably best you don’t start a conversation about that week’s hot topic. Choose to keep the peace and retain the relationship over changing their mind.

Some people love to argue. They will provoke you and bait you with their words and snide remarks. Make a conscious decision not to enter their game. Change the topic and ask about the family or talk about something less contentious—like the weather.

  1. Be wise

It is possible to have healthy, thriving relationships with people who have different political values from you, even in an intimate relationship. However, there comes a point for many of us where these differences show a dramatic division in our values that prohibit us from getting any closer.

It might be a deal breaker in a romantic relationship, or influence the decision to keep a friend as an acquaintance rather than a confidant.

This is okay. Allow the grief process to happen, and be wise about the boundaries you have around that relationship. The closer someone is to you, the more important it is they have similar values to you. And when you do disagree, remember to have grace—we are all just people after all.

Are you experiencing division in a relationship due to your political values? Are political issues and their prominence causing you anxiety or feelings of intense anger? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

10 quotes to help you on Valentine’s Day

v day banner

People either love or hate Valentine’s Day, but one thing is inevitable: we all have to get through it. So whether you are in a committed relationship, married, dating or are single, we want you to thrive on February 14.

That could mean taking your partner out, and making a commitment to spending quality time together more often. Or, it could mean spending the night with your friends and celebrating life and independence with them.

If you’re not sure how to feel about Valentine’s Day, then we’ve got you covered.  We’ve chosen 10 quotes that sum up the beauty of finding and maintaining love, as well what it means to truly love ourselves no matter what season of life we’re in.

What are your plans for Valentine’s Day? Let us know in the comments below!

Valentines Day infographic quotes

Are you concerned about your relationship with your significant other or spouse? Are you single and want to become your best self? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

How to identify Domestic Abuse


Have you ever wondered if your significant other is abusing you? Maybe they push you, lash out violently or pressure you to take part in unwanted sexual activity. Or perhaps you are unsettled by their passive-aggressive behaviour: they way they monitor your financials, your phone, or keep you from seeing other people.

When we’re in an abusive relationship, it is easy to excuse these actions as ‘normal’. Maybe your partner even makes you feel like these incidences are your fault, and this is what a standard, committed relationship looks like. Perhaps you’ve found every excuse possible for your spouse, because they promise they will change and you love them.

This infographic by NowSourcing and lays out exactly what Domestic Abuse is. Aside from detailing the stats that show how prevalent this is in households across America and the world, it also pin points the different types of Domestic Abuse you may encounter.

These include emotional and psychological abuse; physical abuse; sexual abuse; financial abuse and digital abuse. Take a look at the infographic and see if you recognise any of these traits in your relationship.

Are you concerned about the way your significant other is treating you and/or your children? Are you afraid for your safety, or are you scared to come home? PLEASE ask for help. This is not reflective of a normal, healthy relationship and you are worthy of feeling safe and secure.

In Australia, please call 1800-RESPECT, or 000 to access help immediately.



Are you concerned your significant other may be abusing you? Would you like support as you navigate the best way to move forward in your relationship? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

The top 10 blogs of 2017


It’s been a huge year for Watersedge. We debuted a new look, released more Enneagram resources, and opened up our website to guest bloggers!

We’re so grateful for all of your support, and want to celebrate by listing our top 10 blogs for 2017—as decided by you. Enjoy, and keep your eyes out for more new content in the weeks to come. You can follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram to see all our new content first!

  1. The five types of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Infographic by Therapy Tribe

  1. Six ways to manage social anxiety

By Jessica Morris

  1. Who am I? The key to understanding yourself

Infographic by WatersedgeCounselling

  1. 12 ways to practice self awareness

Infographic by Huffington Post and The Utopian Life

  1. 12 reasons why a dog can help you cope with depression and anxiety

By Andy McNaby

  1. 10 reasons you’re becoming burnt out

By Jessica Morris

  1. 10 Mental health accounts you need to follow on Instagram
  1. 10 Amazing self-care charts you need to see
  1. Managing meltdowns: Wisdom from over the fence 

By Louise Griffiths

  1. Consider this before you move in together – Part 1

By Colleen Morris

Do you want to live a whole and healthy life? Would you like support as you navigate life-changing issues or circumstances? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

How to keep calm when conflict strikes


Everyone encounters conflict sometime during the day. It might happen when you’re trying to get out the door by a certain time, and your teenager is adamant they will take their time in the bathroom.

Or perhaps it’s at work, when a colleague questions your decision. You may even encounter it with your spouse or partner on a regular basis.

Conflict is a part of life. And while some people try to avoid it at all costs, there are others who embrace it—perhaps even create it—because they relish in the back-and-forth.

Whether you have a love or hate relationship with conflict, it’s important that you learn how to deal with it healthily. That means not running from it, and not perpetuating it. Rather, it’s about using it as a tool to bring about a better conclusion for everyone involved.

All that to say—it’s not easy navigating conflict; which is why it’s essential you have the tools you need to deal with it.

This infographic by Cashnet USA shows us why our brain and body responds so readily to conflict, and gives us some handy tools to ease the tension when we sense ourselves (or someone else) having a heightened emotional response.

Choosing to take deep breaths, lowering your voice, changing your posture and even choosing to disengage are all helpful strategies when conflict strikes. Not only do they help you to reframe the situation, but they give the person you disagree with an opportunity to calm so you can find a peaceful resolution.

Take a look at the infographic below, and see what you learn about conflict. What step can you take home with you this week?


Do you run from conflict, or do you instigate it? Do you feel angry and struggle to maintain your composure during conflict? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

How to find common ground in your couple relationship


Do you feel like you’re talking to a brick wall when it comes to conflict with your partner? In this article for Warcry magazine, Colleen tells us how to overcome this tension when we can’t find common ground.

Disagreement is an inevitable part of every relationship, and how we deal with it determines our future health and happiness. So did you know that only 31% of a couple’s major areas of continuing disagreements are about resolvable issues?

The rest of the time, a couple’s conflict will be invested in unresolvable perpetual problems. This was one of the findings of a 35-year longitudinal study of 677 couples conducted by Dr John Gottman.

Is it any wonder then, when describing their attempts to communicate with their partner, a person might describe the experience as ‘speaking to a brick wall’?

When a couple fails to resolve an issue so they repeatedly visit the same conflict (up to 69% of the time), the temptation is to resort to negative coping strategies like this, which Gottman termed ‘stonewalling’. In fact, whilst stonewalling is not entirely territory owned by men, the research tells us that 85% of males tend to use stonewalling as a means of staying safe in conflict.

Given that a significant amount of couple’s disagreements are most likely unresolvable, learning how to navigate these conversations in a mutually satisfying way is essential to the longevity and health of any couple relationship.

This is why one of the important keys for a healthy relationship is the ability to accept the influence of your partner.

In practice, this principle is generally more difficult for men than it is for women, who do this at higher rates. Men are less likely to accept their partner’s influence, choosing instead to emotionally disengage or escalate the conflict using belligerence, contempt or defensiveness. All of these behaviours serve to shut down a partner’s complaint and reinforce gridlock.

Accepting your partner’s influence can be the difference between having a conversation where a conclusion is reached without feeling attacked, criticised or resentful; as opposed to an argument that reinforces our differences and creates a sense of hopelessness around the problems in your relationship.

So what does this look like in a conversation? Accepting influence can be as simple as saying “Good point”, or “I see”. Giving the respect of acknowledging your partner’s opinion is the beginning of negotiation.

Accepting influence is about finding common ground for agreement.

If that rarely happens in your relationship, it may be time to step back and listen to your partner’s thoughts on the subject at hand, instead of responding from a negative, closed position.

“I haven’t thought about it in that way before,” sends the message that you are listening and considering your partner’s opinion. You could respond to your partner, “So you see it a different way. Let’s keep talking about it and see if we can come up with something we can both live with.”

Try accepting the influence of your partner this week, and see how it changes your relationship.

Do you struggle to find common ground with your partner? Would you like to discuss how cultivate a healthy connection?  Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.

#MeToo: 5 useful responses to the world-wide movement


Over the past week, you may have noticed the phrase #MeToo coming up all over your social media. The phrase picked up momentum when actress Alyssa Milano tweeted this in response to the Harvey Weinstein allegations coming to light in Hollywood:

“Me too. Suggested by a friend: “if all women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too.’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem”

It should be noted that this movement is not new. 10 years ago Tarana Burke coined the phrase and she is credited for creating the campaign that lets women, specifically women of colour, know they are not alone when they have experienced sexual assault.

After Milano tweeted the phrase, women, female-bodied, feminie identifying people and men responded en masse to the call out—many boldly sharing their stories of sexual harassment and assault for the first time.

It has signalled a shift in our culture, creating awareness around the prevalence of sexual assault (physically, verbally and emotionally) that many men were in the dark about for so long.

Why? Well, that’s a difficult question to answer. The people who have responded to #MeToo experience this injustice as a regular occurrence. And in Australia, one in four females have experienced physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner. To say this is widespread is an understatement.

While the global response of #MeToo has been gigantic, it still doesn’t reveal the full extent of this global inequality. Many people have chosen not to share their #MeToo and others have disengaged to protect their health due to the trauma of their own experiences.

So where does that leave us? Or, more pointedly—where does that leave you?

The Watersedge team could write our own response to #MeToo. Each of us have experienced or heard about the reality of sexual violence and assault in different contexts: as ministers, celebrants, therapists and counsellors, social workers, friends, husband and wife, daughter, son, friend, mentor and as a victim.

Due to this, we know that every women, female-bodied or feminine identifying person has their own #MeToo (not to the exclusion of some males).

So instead of sharing our own stories with you, we want to share some of the important responses to the movement. We hope that you will read these and gain a fuller understanding of the movement.

#MeToo: See Beyond The Hashtag by Prof. Susan Thistlethwaite, Huffington Post

After #MeToo Campaign Goes Viral, Men Are Saying #ItWasMe by Samantha Brodsky, Good House Keeping 

The Problem with the #MeToo Campaign by Megan Nolan, Vice

An Open Letter to My Brothers in light of #MeToo by Mike Morrell

#MeToo: How to respond to a friend sharing their story of sexual abuse by Hack

If you can say “me too,” we hope you know you are not alone. We believe you. We see you.

If you have chosen not to share your story, you don’t owe this experience to anyone. Take care of your health and know that we believe you.

If you are a man who has realised they are a perpetrator—intentionally or due to cultural norms that have influenced your values or behaviour, this is your time to stand up, change your behaviour and say #ItWasMe.

And if you are a man who is outraged and saddened by the existence of even one #MeToo story and call yourself a feminist or someone who values equality, then you must speak up. Silence makes us complicit, even when we don’t take part.

Do you have your own #MeToo story? Have you realised #ItWasMe and need support to change your behaviour? Call Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10 minute consultation. To make an appointment, go to BOOK NOW

Self harm: 9 signs a young person may be at risk


As much as we don’t like talking about it, self harm is extremely prevalent in society. It can take many forms, and often carries the stigma that the person doing it is seeking attention. This is not true—self harm of any form is a cry for help, but that doesn’t mean a person struggling with it will automatically tell you they need your support.

So how do we identify the signs that a young person might be engaging in this harmful behaviour? Pretty Powerful Girls recently published a blog written by Colleen for Australia Counselling titled: Self harm: 9 signs a young person may be at risk.*

Take a look, and if you recognise any of these signs in someone you know, approach them gently. Remember, a lot of shame comes with self harm, and acting panicked or aggressive won’t help the situation.

Instead, speak to them about how they are feeling and encourage the person to seek further help. If you struggle with self harm, read this Hope Movement blog for more details on how you can find healing and use safe alternatives to manage your pain.

*Please note: This blog contains language and references to methods of self-harm, which may be triggering to some people.

Are you struggling with self harm? Please call 000 or 911 in an emergency or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.  For crisis hotlines in other countries, visit Hope Movement’s International database here. 

Your G.P. and/or a Professional Counsellor can give you the additional support you need. For a FREE 10 minute consultation as to how we can help you, ring Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 or you can book an appointment press Book Now to book in our online diary.

Nine great World Suicide Prevention Day resources


It’s overwhelming to think that we lose 400,000 people every year to suicide. But we can all take small steps in our own lives to bring down the numbers and better support people in our community who are struggling.

World Suicide Prevention Day (WSPD) is this Sunday, September 10, and it provides us with an opportunity to talk about this oft-taboo issue and how it impacts so many of us. A great way to start is by educating yourself on the issue and speaking about it with a friend or a counsellor.

Here are nine great resources you can check out this WSPD. Not only will they inform you, but they will give you advice on the warning signs, how to help a friend, the best places to seek help and, highlight events going on locally and online that you can participate in.

This World Suicide Prevention Day, we are glad you are here.

  1. Suicide Prevention Australia
    Suicide Prevention Australia is the national peak body for the suicide prevention sector in Australia. Their official website for WSPD provides you with resources to print out and share with your community. This year’s theme is ‘Take a minute, change a life,’ and SPA have a terrific calendar of local events so you can connect with people in your own community who are advocates, survivors and loved ones of those gone too soon.
  1. Logic’s “1-800-273-8255” video

When US singer Logic performed his song “1-800-273-8255,” at the MTV Music Video Awards, the world was enthralled with his moving and beautiful tribute to people struggling with suicide. The name is taken from the number of the US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and calls went up by 33% after he released the song in April. You can watch the video here and share it online via YouTube (Content warning: some images in the video may be triggering).

  1. To Write Love On Her Arms

Every year, TWLOHA run a World Suicide Prevention Day Campaign, and this year the theme is ‘Stay. Find What You Were Made For’. Over the US National Suicide Prevention Week (September 10-16) they will release new content online to create conversation around suicide prevention, and encourage people to seek help and, above all, stay.

  1. Stay. Find what you were made for’ video.

To correspond with their WSPD campaign, TWLOHA have released a powerful video, encouraging people to stay. Supporters, celebrities, athletes and musicians all make appearances on the video, telling the world why they have chosen to stay and what they were made for. If you want to begin a conversation about suicide prevention but don’t know where to start, this is the perfect video to share with your family and friends.

  1. ‘I’m Listening’

This new radio based campaign brings together some of the biggest names in music: Metallica, Logic, Krist Novoselic (Nirvana), Halsey, Jack Antonoff (Bleachers), Khalid and more. Organised by Entercom, a two hour radio broadcast will take place on September 10 at 10am ET, and artists will share their own stories, talk about how to help family and friends, discuss how to navigate discussions around suicide prevention and mental health, and provide help and resources.

  1. Hope Movement

This Aussie charity is running a week-long campaign for WSPD called ‘You Will See The Morning’. Head to their website for daily content, free downloads and learn how you can take action in your own community to help prevent suicide.

  1. R U Ok Day?

Suicide Prevention Charity R U Ok? Have been convoying round Australia over the last six weeks, engaging with people and educating communities on how to approach the much needed ‘are you okay?’ conversation when we notice a friend struggling. Finishing on September 14 for R U Ok? Day, they have a slew of great events you can attend, as well as some fabulous resources on their website that will inform and empower you to seek help, or help a friend.

  1. Out of the Shadows by Lifeline

Australia’s primary suicide hotline, Lifeline, runs the Out of the Shadows walk every year to coincide with World Suicide Prevention Day. The walk raises awareness, remembers those we’ve lost, and unites people with the common goal of erasing suicide once and for all. You can plan your own walk and find resources here.

  1. Watersedge Blog: On Chester Bennington and how to identify someone at risk of suicide

Earlier this year, we published a blog about the death of musician Chester Bennington. We know that the suicide of public and much beloved people impacts communities around the world, and in this blog we gives you some advice on how to identify if a loved one is struggling, and how to take action around this.

Are you struggling with thoughts of suicide? Have you lost a loved one and find this time of year particularly difficult? Please call 000 or 911 in an emergency or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.  For crisis hotlines in other countries, visit Hope Movement’s International database here. 

Your G.P. and/or a Professional Counsellor can give you the additional support you need. For a FREE 10 minute consultation as to how we can help you, ring Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 or you can book an appointment press Book Now to book in our online diary.