The Enneagram: Type 9 —The Peacemaker

This week we’re jumping ahead in the Enneagram to look at the Type 9 Personality. Commonly known as the ‘Peacemakers,’ these are often the hardest personality type to identify simply because they can be so mellow.

You might be a Type 9 if you avoid conflict at all costs and tend to procrastinate without really considering the future. These are the people who, when healthy, are able to calm those closest to them, while being a voice of honesty and reason. They can make excellent mediators, and are solid and stable friends.

Take a look at this week’s infographic on the Type 9 personality, and keep your eyes out for future instalments in our Enneagram series. Visit our Enneagram page to learn more about other personality types and download their infographics.

The Enneagram Type 9-The Peacemaker

Are you a Type 9? Would you like to better understand yourself or the Type 9’s around you? Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.

The Enneagram: Type 2 —The Helper

Do you have people in your life who are always helping others? Do they use their energy and resources to fix any problem that arises, and seem to be more compassionate than the average person? Chances are they are a Type 2 on the Enneagram. Take a look at our new infographic for this personality type, and see if you can identify the Type 2’s in your life. Perhaps you are even one yourself!

Keep your eyes out for the next instalment in our Enneagram series coming soon: Type 3- The Achiever .

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Are you a Type 2? Would you like to better understand yourself or the Type 2’s around you? Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.

The Enneagram: Type 1—The Perfectionist

We all hold unique traits and characteristics, but there are some personalities which we are more easily able to adapt to and understand. The Enneagram is a personality profile that allocates people into one of nine personality types. By finding more out about our own personality type, as well as the people around us, we are able to better understand ourselves. Today we are starting with Type 1- The Perfectionist. You will be able to pin point these people by their passion for justice, their non-conformity and their natural charisma.

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Are you a Type 1? Would you like to better understand yourself or the Type 1’s around you?  Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.

Coaching: The Resource That Will Change Your Life

Woman Holding a Compass in a LabyrinthI have a very active imagination and have always loved stories that transport me to a different reality with all its new possibilities. Thus Rick Riordan’s novels have been a delightful discovery, drawing me into the world of Greek mythology with its’ Gods, demigods and monsters in a constant struggle for supremacy in both the godly and human realm. ‘The Battle of The Labyrinth’, the 4th book in the Percy Jackson and The Olympians series, features the discovery of a secret opening to a Labyrinth – an elaborate underground maze that has the ability to confound the traveller by continually changing and reinventing itself. Only by using a piece of thread tied to the point of entry, was the traveller able to successfully survive and return from the Labyrinth. As I reflect upon the Labyrinth, it is symbolic of the complexity that we call ‘being human’.

We all have a secret Labyrinth under the surface of our ‘public self ’ – the ‘private self’ is that part of you that only your most intimate friends are privileged to know. Your ‘public self’, is the personality you have grown into since infancy as you learnt to interact with your environment. You learnt that it was not always in your best interests to respond authentically and so you began to adapt and conform to the expectations of your environment and your personal need for survival and safety. In this way, your ‘private self’ was protected and kept hidden.

Many people ‘forget’ that they have a ‘private self’. Your coping strategy has been so efficient that it has felt ‘normal’ to function as you do. However it is part of life’s experience that as you transition from childhood through to adulthood, your normal way of coping becomes less effective or even ineffective and the degree of stress and dis-stress increases. Frequently this realisation does not come upon us until you reach a point of crisis: a relationship gone wrong, bereavement, marriage breakdown, retrenchment, a crippling physical or mental health issue. A crisis forces you to stop and take a good, hard look at yourself. It invites you to look beneath the surface of yourself (if you dare) and discover who you really are. This is where a resource such as The Enneagram becomes a valuable tool for self-awareness and personal growth.Head with maze

The Enneagram can be a guide to your own personal Labyrinth. It reveals and explores the complexity of your inner self, strengths and weakness, motivators and fears, directing you to your own unique road for growth and wholeness. Do you have that ‘thread’ that ‘anchors’ your journey through your own inner Labyrinth? Do you even know where to begin? I commend The Enneagram to you as a great resource and personal tool to your journey.

If you would like to know more about The Enneagram, further introductory articles are available in Watersedgecounselling’s archives: Relationships: 3 Secrets To Manage Conflict in Your Relationship;

 

If you would like to explore your ‘inner Labyrinth’ but don’t know where to start, a Professional Counsellor is skilled in facilitating your journey to greater self-awareness (Please note – The Enneagram is a resource that I use when working with clients however every Professional Counsellor has their own differing and preferred style and resources).

If you would like to know more about The Enneagram and how it can enhance your growth, wellness and potential you can contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or make an appointment online immediately for a personal consultation.

Relationships: 9 Keys to Strengthen and Improve Your Relationships

light_by_captivatedimages-d5dvvlqDo you get along with most people? My own experience when working with people suggests that whilst most of us get on with most people, there are always certain people that we find difficult to understand and get on with.

Sometimes you may struggle to understand why a person thinks the way they do, or holds a differing belief or value system to you evoking anger in you or by contrast, intimidation. Sometimes you feel irritated by a particular person or find yourself in frequent conflict or you just don’t like them for no apparent reason. Getting along with people is a skill we all need but how and where do we learn the skill?

Your family of origin is the context in which you learn how to do relationships, as you observe your parents or significant care-givers relational style. As a child, you developed your own relational style within your family context, responding to the specific stressors and challenges you experienced. If there were frequent arguments between your parents, you may have taken on the role of a mediator, prioritizing the need to keep things peaceful and settled. If your father was abusive towards your mother, you may have taken the role of protector out of the need to defend your mother. Some of us feel very isolated and abandoned as children. If that was the case for you, you may experience yourself as being different to others, having learned to live within your own imagination.

Relational styles vary. Have you noticed that some people seem to get on with others effortlessly whilst others struggle to get on with people?  Whilst your relational style worked for you as a child within your family context, as an adult you are exposed to a much broader range of relational styles that frequently challenge the way you do relationships. This becomes particularly apparent when you experience a life crisis and discover that the skills you have relied upon to relate to others, no longer work and even keep you stuck in problematic situations. It is at this stage, people often choose to see a counselling professional in order to understand themselves and others in relationship.

It was during a period of personal crisis that I became aware that I needed to understand myself at a deeper level and change the way I related to other people. At that time I was experiencing chronic depression and felt crippled by fear. I withdrew from life, seeking to protect myself from other people’s judgements and expectations, feeling inadequate and insignificant. My recovery from depression was significantly facilitated by the decision to pursue personal self-awareness and the way my relational style impacted others in relationship.

Whether you are at a time of personal life crisis and/or relationship crisis or simply want to strengthen and grow your relationships, I recommend these 9 keys (known as The Enneagram). These 9 keys provided me with a very accurate psychological tool that helped me understand and work effectively with other people instead of being fearful of them. I have since used this tool in every area of my life; my marriage relationship, my family relationships, my personal friendships, my workplace relationships and in my work as a therapist.

These 9 keys give insight into what a particular personality type values and prides themselves on. By identifying the others personality type on the enneagram, you begin to become aware of how they function and how to initiate a relationship based on an appreciation of one another’s strengths and differences.

Here are the 9 keys to strengthen and improve your relationships:

Type 1    The Perfectionist; ‘I am right’

Type 2    The Giver; ‘I am helpful'

Type 3    The Performer; ‘I am successful’

Type 4    The Romantic; ‘I am different’

Type 5    The Observer; ‘I am knowledgeable and wise’

Type 6    The Loyal Sceptic; ‘I am loyal’

Type 7    The Epicurist; ‘I am fun’

Type 8    The Protector; ‘I am strong’

Type 9    The Mediator; ‘I am settled’

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When you begin to pay closer attention to what a person is saying you will hear what a person frequently states or implies about them. Noticing what a person prides themselves on, you can start to appeal to that part of them.

For example, to get along with a Type 1, you need to allow them to feel that you value their advice by asking them what they think, listening carefully, and giving respect to what they say. Whether you agree or not, this person is more likely to support you, because you have given value to them. To get along with a Type 4 it is important to acknowledge that they are different, invite them to share their unique perspective and in particular their creativity. Give them the creative director job and they will do it with flair!

If you want to know more about these 9 keys, look out for more articles to help you to understand your self and others so that you can continue to strengthen and grow your relationships.

 If you want to grow personally and in your relationships, experience wellness and reach toward your full relational potential then here’s what you need to do contact me on 0434 337 245  for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how I can best help you or press book now to book on my online diary.