5 Ways an Extrovert Can Thrive

5 Ways an Extrovert Can Thrive

Extroverts often get a hard wrap. They are exuberant and outgoing, and when this is not managed it can leave other people (especially introverts!) feeling bulldozed and drained off all their energy. That being said, extroverts are movers and shakers; the life of the party and the welcoming arm to the new person who just walked through the door. As much as introverts don’t like to admit it (myself included), we need you. We need you to fill in the gaps of awkward conversation and to ask questions. We need you to invite us along to social events, so we have the opportunity to do life with other people. And we need you as friends, because as awesome as introverts are, we can’t manage other extroverts on our own.

When an extrovert is healthy, they are some of the truest and most honest friends you’ll come across. But unlike the introvert, their unhealthy tendencies can be harder to spot. Struggles, depleted energy and overwhelming emotion will be covered by their trademark exuberance, and unlike the introvert who will get lost in the thought process of the situation, an extrovert will become consumed in the rollercoaster of behaviour and noise that leads them to burn out.

As an extrovert it’s essential you take care of yourself. Here are 5 tips that will help you thrive.

  1. Have boundaries

When you’re the life of the party, people often assume that you’ll always be available and willing to help out. They will expect you to attend events or ask you to step into a leadership position because they know you can get the job done. True as that may be, it’s essential you know when to say “no.” While an extrovert gets their energy from being with people, they can still become exhausted, so prioritise the activities most important to you.

  1. Practice self awareness

Extroverts can leave a bad taste in the mouth of others when they lack self awareness. In this, they will over step the boundaries of conversation, volume (that’s a big one!), physical interaction and tone of voice. Remember, you don’t always come off the way you mean too, so observe people’s body language as you talk to them. Notice if they shut down and stop talking, if they shy away from touch, or if they make a quick exit. You don’t have to change your natural demeanour, but to cultivate healthy relationships you do need to practice a respect and awareness for the people around you.

  1. Have life giving relationships

As an extrovert, you have the tendency to give until there’s no energy left in the tank. In order to gain energy from other people, you need to make sure your relationships are life giving. Spend quality time with people who you can relax with, who understand you and who leave you feeling empowered. Some people drain us and others leave us feeling like we’re on top of the world, focus on the latter.

  1. Make time to switch off

While ‘quiet time’ can be pegged as an introverted activity, it is still essential for the wellbeing of an extrovert. Granted, you won’t need this as much as an introvert, but there are times when you will just need to be alone. Sit, write down your thoughts and make sense of what is going on around you, go for a jog or watch a movie. Don’t be afraid of the quiet, embrace it. After all, you can always go and spend time with friends after, right?

  1. Love yourself

An extrovert will often find their self-worth in the praise of others. People’s responses to you, their willingness to invite you to social events and even the level of attention they give you can all play a role in your self-esteem. Remember that while you crave time with people, they don’t dictate your self-worth. You can’t be “too extroverted” and you can’t be too quiet. You are just you, and as you take care of yourself you will find that the important people will be naturally drawn to you for who you are, not for what you can give to them.

Are you an extrovert? Do you want to thrive? Then here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245  for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how she can best help you, or press book now to book on the online diary.

An Extroverts Guide on How to Live with an Introverted Partner

happy-couple

Image courtesy of photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If the old saying, “opposites attract” is true, then there is every likelihood that your partner is the complete opposite of you. Initially this may not seem like a huge factor in your relationship; you enjoy each other’s company and genuine appreciation means you are able to overlook your differences. But what happens when you are living together and your partner displays some characteristics that are just plain strange to you? How do you cope when you want to go out and all they want to do is lock themselves up in a quiet room for an hour, alone? How do you respond when your partner develops that distant expression two thirds of a way through a social outing and is unable to communicate effectively with your friends, let alone you, for the rest of the evening? If these circumstances ring true to you, chances are you are an extrovert and your partner is an introvert.

It goes without saying that every human being is unique, yet we find that there are two common personality traits people fall in to. The extrovert garners their energy from social situations. They thrive around people and often find they would rather be engaged with another person, even if it’s a stranger, than sit in the silence of their own thoughts. Alternatively, the introvert needs to spend time alone in order to function. Much like a battery, their energy is depleted when spending time with people. They recuperate and are able to function by spending time by themselves and will often prefer the company of a few close friends or even just you, compared to a large social situation.

While it can seem difficult to accommodate for each other’s differing personality traits – especially when you don’t understand them – there is hope. Having a partner with a different personality type means you are able to balance each other out, that you are able to encourage one another to grow in ways that were once foreign to you. But how do you come to a point where you are comfortable with these differences? For the many extroverts out there who desire to support their partner yet are unable to fathom their need for complete and utter alone time, here are 3 tips that will help you appreciate and live with your introverted partner.

1. Give them their space

While you may want to sit and talk about your day, the weather and the current status of Brangelina, your partner will struggle to cope with this at a moment’s notice. Allow your introverted partner to have their ‘alone time’ in order to recuperate from their long work day or a social situation before you vent to them. A great way to assess their current capacity to actively listen to you is to observe whether they are responding in full sentences and are retaining eye contact. If they’re not, hold back and wait until they are re energised so they can give you the attention you deserve.

2. Don’t expect your partner to be high energy

 Just because your partner is an introvert doesn’t mean they won’t like doing things. They need to spend quality time with people – especially you; and a healthy introvert will desire this. In saying this, be aware of your partner’s capacity to retain energy and concentration at social gatherings. Do they feel comfortable going to that work party? If so, how long can they spend there before they ‘switch off’? Are they able to have people over for dinner? How often? Just because your partner is less inclined to spend prolonged amounts of times in social situations doesn’t mean you should be. As an extrovert, you NEED to spend time with other people. Talk to your partner about this and figure out a compromise. Perhaps it is best to agree on a ‘curfew’ before attending a party; or maybe your partner just needs to know a few weeks ahead of time in order to mentally prepare for an event. You may even select a night every few weeks where you go out for a ‘girl’s night’ or ‘guys night’, giving you your social fix while they spend time at home alone.

3. Don’t expect them to have an answer immediately

Are you facing a difficult financial decision together? Perhaps you are trying to decide whose parents’ house you should go to for the holidays? It is important to discuss these things with your partner, but don’t always expect them to have a definitive answer or view point on the situation immediately. Chances are they will be able to voice the pros and cons to the varying options and will need some time to process what they feel the best response should be. Give your partner this time – a few hours, a day or a week, before you bring the topic up again.

If you are experiencing difficulties in your couple relationship and need direction and support to repair this and have a strong, happy and enduring couple relationship then here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how I can best help you or press book now to book on my online diary.