My favorite childhood memories happened on family vacations. Playing Ludo under the annex in a caravan park. Eating ice-cream from the general store at Hall Gap. Unwrapping birthday presents as we drove across the Nullabor. As an adult, I realise how lucky I was to have those moments with my family. Somehow, my parents found a way to go on inexpensive holidays and wrangled their kids at the same time.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the destinations we visited (often staying with extended family). But it’s the small moments that stay with me. And through this, my parents strengthened their bond with my sister and I. Our family unit was a place of safety, fun and growth. I learned that through the creative ways we would spend time together.
You don’t have to travel to spend quality time with the family. All it requires is some time to intentionally enjoy each other’s company. Granted, this may be a bit more difficult now than in the 90s. Back then, we weren’t competing will phones that pinged with notifications 24/7! But there is still a way to make it work. Here are some fun activities you can try:
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Have a games night
Playing board games or card games is a fun way to build emotional regulation, trust and safety. Drop your phones and devices into a box at the start of the night, and commit to playing at least one game together. Try Uno, Twister, Snakes and Ladders, Monopoly, Pictionary, or even Cards Against Humanity (the family friendly version) for older kids.
If there are games that cause your family to argue, or that your children can’t regulate in, opt for easier games with less at stake. Game night isn’t meant to be a punishment, so alter it to fit your needs.
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Get outdoors
Are the kids getting antsy cooped up inside? Get out and do something within walking distance of your home. Go for a walk (bonus points if you have a pet), a family bike ride, visit the play ground, roller blade or play a game in the back yard. As a kid I spent hours shooting hoops with my dad, and my sister and I would play tennis (on a pole) for just as long. To make it seem ‘special’ pack a picnic lunch, or stop at the local store for a small treat on the way home. You could even create your own treasure hunt, complete with clues and ‘treasure’ at the end!
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Create an epic competition
Is your family competitive? Lean into it. Create a tournament and keep a tally of who wins. At the end of the year, award the winner with a trophy, or celebrate with a family meal (that way no one misses out). The beauty of a tournament is that is creates a rhythm in the family, and can be based around whatever activity or activities your family naturally enjoy. It could be backyard cricket, soccer, cards– whatever gets your adrenaline pumping!
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Visit friends or family
If the idea of a family activity is daunting, pair up with another family and do something together. This empowers the kids to create their own games and build social skills, and giving you time to connect with other adults. Have a play date at home, take a family vacation together, have a beach day, go for a walk or visit a bounce palace. Whatever you choose, come together for meal or snack time. This strengthens your family relationship, but also encourages everyone to build on their emotional regulation and socialisation skills.
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Take it easy – together
Are you concerned that any activity you organise for your family will turn into an argument or tantrum? Take a breath and get creative. Quality time isn’t one size fits all, it’s about catering to what you need in the moment. This could look like scheduling a family dinner once a week, where everyone eats together at the table. Or, you could take a walk together, read a book to the kids before bed, or make a snack together.
Whatever activity you choose, be intentional but take it easy. You don’t have to do this ‘right,’ and you can’t build strong relationships using expectation and pressure. Your children want to know they are loved for who they are, as they are, and with clear boundaries so they know they are valued, safe and respected. Keeping showing them this security, and your relationship will flourish.
