When season 2 of the Netflix drama HeartStopper dropped, fans quickly binged all eight episodes. Telling the story of teenage boy Charlie, who falls in love with his best friend Nick, the delightfully quirky coming-of-age tale offers something different from the normal romantic tropes we see in movies – because it offers honesty. Honesty about coming out, sexual orientation, gender norms, masculinity, bullying, mental health and parent/child relationships.
Aimed at teens and young adults, it’s easy to assume HeartStopper is only for young people – after all, it is based on the bestselling graphic novel of the same name by Alice Oseman. The comic elements and soundtrack are colourful yet melancholy and capture the chaos of puberty perfectly. But it’s not just teens who are binge watching HeartStopper – it’s people of all ages. So why do people love it so much? Here are six things we learn about life and hope from HeartStopper.
- Everyone feels like a misfit
It doesn’t matter whether you are sporty, popular, a musician, an artist or a nerd, everyone feels like they don’t quite ‘fit in’. Especially at school! Charlie and his friends show that instead of trying to repress the misfit – or individuality in us, we should embrace it. When we do this, we gravitate towards other misfits and find our people.
- Discovering your sexuality and coming out are unique for each person
HeartStopper teaches us that discovering your sexual identity and choosing to come out, are unique experiences. We learn that Charlie has known he was gay from a young age. Alternatively, Nick realizes he is bi exual at age 16 after meeting Charlie, and is cautious about coming out to his mum, wider family, friend and school community. Their friends also highlight that each person’s journey understanding their sexuality is unique. Elle has moved schools after experiencing bullying for being trans, meanwhile her new school mates Darcy and Tara choose to come out as a couple on social media. And then their friend Isaac realizes he is A-sexual and A-romantic during a school trip. There is no timeline for these things, but we can become a safe place for other people by supporting them with grace, compassion and validation. It’s also important to note that no one has to come out publicly – it’s a choice, and one that Nick especially grapples with.
- We shouldn’t stereotype people
HeartStopper tackles stereotypes head on by challenging how Charlie and his friends perceive the world, especially overcoming what the bullies say he ‘should’ be. After being recruited to join the rugby team, Charlie deals with homophobia from his teammates who say he is unfit for the sport due to his sexual orientation. Charlie internalizes this, and tells his coach that because he is gay he is not good at sport. To which his coach says, “Gay people are good at sport Charlie” (We later learn that she is queer).
The idea that masculine, athletic people have to be heterosexual is also tackled on HeartStopper, when Charlie’s friends declare that Nick is the “straightest boy ever”. As Nick becomes aware of his bisexuality and considers coming out, he wrestles with how his ‘mates’ will respond. He tells Imogen later that he doesn’t really ‘fit’ with his friends, showing us that all people are more nuanced than the boxes we put them in.
- Consent is a matter of respect
Despite their age, Charlie and his friends model the importance of consent in relationships. Rather than being ‘politically correct’ they are in constant communication with each other, especially when they are intimate, as an act of respect for the other. We see this when characters pause before kissing, either asking for permission or reading the other person’s body language. As Charlie and Nick also become more intimate, we see them have some awkward conversations about sex. But instead of shaming one another, they candidly discuss what they are comfortable with, what they are ready for, and what their boundaries are. On the flip side, we see that Charlie’s first hidden boyfriend Ben never practices consent, instead overpowering Charlie physically and manipulating him for his own gratification. At the end of season 2, we see Charlie confront Ben about this and call it out for what it is.
- Honesty is everything
Secrets are toxic, and often keep us captive out of shame. That’s why having safe, supportive people we can trust is so essential. When Charlie opens up to Nick about his eating disorder and former self injury, they form a deeper bond. And when Nick chooses to come out to his mum, knowing she will likely be supportive, he feels lighter and more like himself. When we hide things out of guilt or shame – or simply because we believe we will be condemned if we vocalize things – we become unwell and are prone to depression, mental ill health and relationship breakdown.
- Fun is never overrated
Life is too serious. Charlie, Nick and his friend know this more than most – as members of minorities, the subjects of bullying, and victims in broken marriages and more, they are deeply acquainted with the sadness and pain of life. But despite this, they still choose to chase the light. And they are committed to having fun – whimsical, silly, life-giving, living in the moment fun, that we tend to leave behind in adulthood. It doesn’t matter who we are, fun is never overrated. And it’s good for our health!
Do you want to embrace your inner misfit? Would you like a safe space to express yourself? Contact Colleen on 0434 337 245, Duncan on 0434 331 243 or Rachel on 0442177193 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now and make an appointment.
