5 Steps to Turn Your Failure Into a Success


A relationship has broken down; you’ve received yet another rejection letter, or someone has said your revolutionary idea sucks. We all experience failure in our lives, and for many of us our fear of it rules how we live. But what if we could pick ourselves up from our failure and no longer allowed it to dictate our lives? The phrase, “Success is defined by how well you rise after falling,” is used so frequently it has become a cliché, but ask any successful business person, healthy and happy parent or esteemed individual and they will tell you it is 100 per cent true. Every success starts with the stepping stone of failure. Follow these 5 steps and make your failures the successes you have been dreaming of.

  1. Refuse to let failure define you

While your feelings, circumstances and people may be labelling you a failure, you must decide that this will not define you or your life. Your innate worth and potential have not changed, and you still have the ability to make something good and be a success. Pick yourself up and believe that you are more than this set back. Live in the truth that you are responsible for writing your own story and step into this boldly.

  1. Honestly assess the situation

Let’s be real: Something went wrong to cause this so called failure, so take a look at what these factors were. Ask yourself why this relationship, goal or opportunity fell short and observe the steps you took to get here. You may need to humble yourself and acknowledge you need more experience or need to develop your craft. It could mean you need to alter your interpersonal skills, your goals, or your priorities in life. Whatever the case, acknowledgement is the first step towards change and future success.

  1. Salvage the good

This all started with a dream, a great ambition, a drive, or a desire to better yourself or other people. Pick up the good parts of what you dropped in the failure and start again. Polish off and refine them so you can rebuild a healthier, more stable and more sustainable goal, business or relationship. Passion and drive are the roots of success, so keep these while you alter how to work towards your goals.

  1. Change your behaviour

It’s well and good to say, “I should have done that differently,” or to play the blame game, but you are never going to create a success if you don’t change your behaviour. Once you are honest about the factors that brought you here, you can seek out ways to change them. Educate yourself more, seek out a mentor, see a professional to talk about your ongoing issues, and improve yourself and your product. Don’t be too proud or stuck in your ways to change your habits and in doing so alter the outcome for the better.

  1. Be brave enough to try again

Don’t let a fear of failure keep you from trying again. Learn from this failure and use it as a stepping stone to success. Forgive yourself, make amends, step up to the plate and submit that application again. If this is something you believe in, refuse to give up after tripping on the journey. Get up and keep taking the little steps to reach your goals. Never, ever give up.

Are you struggling to succeed? Do you need a supervisor or mentor? Contact Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10 minute consultation. If you are ready to book an appointment with Duncan, click the icon BOOK ONLINE NOW and you will be taken to his online appointment calendar, and follow the prompts.

Move On Like Bethenny Frankel: 7 Ways to Survive Your Marriage Break-Up

 A business woman sitting on a bench

Reality T.V. star, Bethenny Frankel on Ellen Degeneres' show: ‘I feel like a failure’ after ending 3 year marriage to Jason Hoppy

These headlines in the Entertainment section caught my attention because this, very public, confession by celebrity Bethenny Frankelon is an experience that anyone who has gone through a difficult marriage break up will identify with. ‘Feeling like a failure’, feeling scared about the unknown future are very normal human reactions to a very stressful and confusing time.

  •  You valued this relationship – initially you never contemplated the day that you would ‘fall out of love’ or not be happy together. Happy memories, special moments and children are all reminders of the hopes and dreams you had for a future together.
  • You fought hard for the survival of this relationship – most couples struggle for a significant period of time having gone through  repeated separations and reconciliations and reaching out for professional help.
  • You are physically and emotionally spent, having gone through a rollercoaster of emotions: anger, despair, frustration, disillusionment, confusion and sadness.
  • You are experiencing a loss if identity, no longer defined by the couple relationship, begging the question, ‘Who am I now?’


I love the wisdom of Bethenny’s self-disclosure when she says to Ellen ‘I’m scared. But it’s about what I do next,’ In other words, only  Bethenny can be responsible for whether she survives and ultimately thrives after her marriage break up.

If you can identify with Bethenny, what will you do next to survive and heal?

Here are my 7 ways to survive your marriage break up

1. Allow  yourself to grieve your loss. Acknowledge your emotions. You may need some time off work in order to process the immediate experience and recharge.

2. Stay connected to friends who will listen without judgement, support you, encourage you and distract you when necessary.

3.Talk  to a professional counsellor who can assist you to process the complexity of your emotions and support you in the process of self-discovery and exploring your new beginning.

4. Avoid or draw strong boundaries around relationships that reinforce negative thought patterns.

5. Maintain your physical and mental health. Physical exercise, a nutritious diet, immersing yourself in nature and having plenty of sleep are all important for healing and recovery.

6. Choose to see this as your opportunity to rediscover your identity. Try something new, do something you are passionate about or something that you have always wanted to do.

7. Remember that the transition from couple to single status may happen in a moment but takes time emotionally. It is a courageous and scary step. Be kind to yourself.


If you have recently experienced a marriage breakup and want to grow, experience wellness and reach toward your full  potential then here’s what you need to do contact me on 0434 337 245  for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how I can best help you or you can make an appointment to see Colleen by booking online now.