When a couple separate there is likely to be unfinished business that requires continued dialogue and negotiation. If the former relationship has been marked by manipulation, deceit, blame, volatility and even narcissism, any re-engagement feels dangerous.
Many women leave abusive relationships in a state of confusion and desperation. False messages such as ‘you are worthless’ and ‘you are not enough’, taunt long after you have left the relationship. Robbed of self-confidence, it is easy to feel disabled by even the thought of having to speak to your ex-partner again.
At the same time, it is necessary, particularly if you share children, to find a way to communicate that feels safe, contained and clear.
Here are some 5 do’s and 5 don’ts when communicating to your ex-partner:
- true to yourself
- be firm
- kind to yourself
- hide behind pretense
- be apologetic
- follow the advice of others if it is incongruent to how you feel, no matter how well meaning the other person is
- compromise your own behavior or remain silent to ‘look after’ the other person
- put yourself in any situation where you are vulnerable to further violation of any kind
Would you like support as you navigate difficult relationships or awkward conversations? Contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10 minute consultation on how we can best help you or book online now.