Do you ever feel so overwhelmed you can’t control yourself? Maybe you’re stressed so you self sabotage and eat that food? Or you’ve been triggered and you lash out at the people who love you? Some of us just shut down and become catatonic.
In those moments, it’s more important than ever to feel our emotions and calm ourselves. Granted – it’s not easy to de-escalate when our brain and body is telling us the world is on fire. But there are simple things we can do keep us from erupting like a volcano. By practicing these techniques over time, we start to recognise the signs that we are overwhelmed and out of control earlier and it becomes easier to manage and then heal.
1. Drink some tea
I’m not a tea drinker, and could never understand why people enjoyed loosely flavoured warm water over a chat. But when I started drinking tea to be polite, it grew on me. And I soon realised that the process of making a pot of tea (or getting a tea bag!) and then sitting still with a piping hot mug of still water was grounding. The aroma of the tea engages my senses, pushing me beyond a fight/flight response. And slowly sipping the tea brings me back to my body – reminding me to be present as the water goes through me and washes away the stress, anxiety or isolation.
2. Go for a walk outside
Moving your body forces the tension and stress out of your muscles. It also helps you to regulate your breathing as you walk, pushing more oxygen to the head and setting your resting heart rate back to health. In addition, going for a walk outside puts you in touch with the outside world. And seeing a tree, a dog or another human is a great reminder that there is more to your life than this impending stress or doom. The world continues to turn, and so will you.
3. Journal
Writing down your feelings or details about your day is a cathartic experience. By putting things down on paper, you get them out of your head. For me, seeing my emotions, fears or dreams on paper makes them more real. And instead of suppressing my emotions or having them erupt at an inconvenient time, I can control their flow. Sure, sometimes journaling can be challenging. Getting in touch with our emotions can be scary if we are used to avoiding them. But journaling gives us a safe space to be our true authentic selves without shame or harm to ourselves or relationships. If you struggle to journal, just challenge yourself to dot point answer three things: 1. What happened today? 2. How did this make me feel OR how is my body responding? And 3. What can I do to get through this moment (sometimes journaling is the answer, or any of the techniques in this article are)?
4. Take three deep breaths
when we feel overcome and out of control our breathing becomes faster, and our body goes into a heightened and stressed state. It’s harder to think clearly, and our muscles contract causing us to ache, spasm or get headaches. By taking three deep breaths – in for five seconds and out for five seconds, you bring your heart rate down and increase the oxygen to your brain. After three breaths you will start to feel more grounded and in control. Three breaths is just a minimum – take as many as you like, and use a paper bag if it’s hard, or use a meditation app if you want some structure. Keep breathing until you feel back and in control of your body.
5. Use sensory objects
Kids love sensory objects they can poke, break, squish, stroke and feel because they are grounding. It doesn’t matter your age, you can also use sensory tools to calm yourself. If you’re angry, grab some ice pole sticks and break them. If you’re anxious, use a pop it or a stress ball and push all your anxiety into the plastic. If you feel overwhelmed and need comfort, grab a soft blanket, a toy or a weighted blanket and hold it. If you are on the go but feel it boiling up, roll some lavender on your wrists or smell some oils. Find what works for you and take the object with you wherever you go. It’s not a sign of weakness to use these objects – it reminds you what you aren’t super human and you don’t have to be!
Do you feel stuck or out of control? Contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now.
