Last Friday I was quoted by the Geelong Independent regarding the hacking and release of individual names on the Ashley Madison cheating website. Geelong has been revealed as one of the major hot spots for users in the state, and a journalist approached me from the newspaper to offer my own thoughts on the situation.
Today I wanted to take this opportunity to expand on my thoughts and statements in the article, bringing to light the significance of this scandal and what it means in our community. Adultery and cheating of any kind, while labelled as a ‘sign of the times’ by this newspaper, plays an integral role in my day-to-day interactions with clients, and as such need to be addressed with great caution and respect.
Relieving the pressure of stress is a preoccupation of our post-modern society. People frequently report that they feel overwhelmed by the demands of the 21st century lifestyle: work stress, unemployment, financial stress and family issues are just a few of the numerous pressures brought to bear. Feeling threatened by uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, fear or anger, the need escape or at least distract oneself, is entirely appealing and (we convince ourselves) justifiable. In my experience, this is frequently the scenario whereby individuals begin ‘online’ affairs. It is not necessarily about dissatisfaction with one’s couple relationship, as it is about the inability to deal with stress in ways that are appropriate and serve to reinforce that same relationship.
Where an individual sites sexual dissatisfaction in their couple relationship, being open and honest about this invites a conversation with your partner as to how our needs can be better met. It is my experience that the breakdown of physical intimacy in a couple relationships is not as simple as ‘we just don’t have sex anymore.’ By initiating a respectful dialogue around this issue, possibly with the support of a Couple’s Therapist, you can begin to listen to and understand the needs of your partner that, if met by you, will promote emotionally and possibly more physical intimacy in your relationship.
I want to thank you for your interest following the publication of yesterday’s article, and hope it enables you to further strengthen your own relationships. If your couple relationship has been impacted by online affair, I encourage you to seek out a Couples Therapist to explore what has triggered the behaviour, and most importantly, how you can repair the relationship together. By selecting BOOK NOW, you can make an appointment with the team at Watersedge today.
WatersedgeCounselling is holding a Couples Relationship Retreat in Newtown on October 17. If you would like to learn practical tools to engage with your partner and strengthen your relationship, you can book today and receive the Early Bird Discount ending September 5. For any further details, please contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245.