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Relationship Repair That Works

May 18, 2013 By Colleen Morris 4 Comments

What makes a ‘successful couple relationship’ is a question that every couple wants the answer to. Is it the absence of conflict that sets them apart? Is it the way the way a couple handles conflict? Is it their particular approach to relationship repair?

For many years Dr John Gottman has studied, what he coins, ‘the repair attempt’. In this video, Dr. John Gottman describes how the “masters” of relationships make repairing their relationship after an argument a priority.  But what makes some repair attempts succeed while others fail? Have a listen. You might be surprised!

 

 

A successful repair attempt doesn’t rely on a ‘smooth’ or ‘clever’ delivery. What it does rely upon is  how good and kind you are to your partner on a daily basis, what Dr Gottman calls ‘ emotional money’.  When your partner experiences you as supportive, caring and safe within the relationship, they are more likely to respond positively to your repair attempt. It comes back to the underlying couple connection you have. Never minimize the impact of just being together, appreciating each others presence and those daily acts of kindness. These experiences build connection and create a ‘rich’ emotional bank account.

How much ’emotional money’ do you have in the bank? Perhaps this is your opportunity to begin to rebuild your emotional relationship bank account.

 

 

Have you ever wondered why your partner never agrees with your version of what happened?
Go to the following link to find out more:
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/16/why-the-two-of-you-will-never-agree-on-what-happened/

 

 

 

If you are experiencing difficulties in your couple relationship and need direction and support to repair your relationship and reach toward your full relational potential then here’s what you need to do contact me on 0434 337 245  for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how I can best help you or press book now to book on my online diary.

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Filed Under: Marriage and Couple Relationships Tagged With: relationship communication, relationship conflict, relationship problems, relationship repair

About Colleen Morris

Colleen is a counsellor and family therapist who founded Watersedge Counselling. To read more of her work or book an appointment click here.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kimberly Wulfert, PhD

    May 18, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    Thanks Colleen for the chance to hear Dr. Gottman again. I love his voice and manner, in addition to his knowledge.

    Reply
    • admin

      May 18, 2013 at 11:45 pm

      Yes Kimberly, he is a great teacher . Thanks for taking the time to listen. Colleen

      Reply
  2. Deann

    May 28, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    Great post on Gottman’s “repair attempt!”

    Reply
    • admin

      May 28, 2013 at 11:34 pm

      Hi Deann, thank you for taking the time to have a look anf for your encouraging comment. Regards, Colleen

      Reply

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