What makes a ‘successful couple relationship’ is a question that every couple wants the answer to. Is it the absence of conflict that sets them apart? Is it the way the way a couple handles conflict? Is it their particular approach to relationship repair?
For many years Dr John Gottman has studied, what he coins, ‘the repair attempt’. In this video, Dr. John Gottman describes how the “masters” of relationships make repairing their relationship after an argument a priority. But what makes some repair attempts succeed while others fail? Have a listen. You might be surprised!
A successful repair attempt doesn’t rely on a ‘smooth’ or ‘clever’ delivery. What it does rely upon is how good and kind you are to your partner on a daily basis, what Dr Gottman calls ‘ emotional money’. When your partner experiences you as supportive, caring and safe within the relationship, they are more likely to respond positively to your repair attempt. It comes back to the underlying couple connection you have. Never minimize the impact of just being together, appreciating each others presence and those daily acts of kindness. These experiences build connection and create a ‘rich’ emotional bank account.
How much ’emotional money’ do you have in the bank? Perhaps this is your opportunity to begin to rebuild your emotional relationship bank account.
If you are experiencing difficulties in your couple relationship and need direction and support to repair your relationship and reach toward your full relational potential then here’s what you need to do contact me on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how I can best help you or press book now to book on my online diary.
Thanks Colleen for the chance to hear Dr. Gottman again. I love his voice and manner, in addition to his knowledge.
Yes Kimberly, he is a great teacher . Thanks for taking the time to listen. Colleen
Great post on Gottman’s “repair attempt!”
Hi Deann, thank you for taking the time to have a look anf for your encouraging comment. Regards, Colleen