A regular weekend leisure activity that my husband and I enjoy together is going to watch the AFL football game in Geelong. Last week’s match didn’t let us down as our team put on a good performance to win the match. By the last quarter, the crowd’s excitement was at its fullest as people yelled at their own team, at the opposing team, at the umpires and at just about anything else that moved!!
Team sport evokes great passion from its followers and for many people it is an opportunity to vent the ‘pent up’ anger in a context where it is seen to be acceptable and appropriate. You could describe it as a ‘cathartic’ experience – given expression, anger is released and you settle once the game is over.
If you have an anger issue, you will know that the anger rarely settles. It may recede for a time, bubbling just beneath the surface waiting for an opportunity to erupt again, but it never goes away. Feeling helpless to control it, the anger controls you.
Here are six tips to help you gain some control over the anger:
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Regular exercise
Going to the gym, jogging, swimming, biking or whatever it is that you enjoy, you need to incorporate into your daily schedule.
If daily exercise is not part of your regular routine include it with something else you enjoy. For instance, ask a friend to do it with you and reward yourselves with a coffee afterwards. Use the opportunity to nurture your relationship with your partner or another family member. Do the exercise down at the beach, river or local park. Take the dog for a run with you and invest in some headphones to listen to your favourite music. The ways to approach your daily exercise routine are endless.
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Calm Yourself
Understand what it is that calms you, and put it into daily practice. Begin to take notice of the times when you feel more settled. What are you doing (or not doing)? Is it when you are walking, swimming, resting, gardening, reading, having a cup of coffee or focusing on something else in particular? Do more of it. Think about how you could integrate that into your everyday life. If you are aware that there are times when you are particularly vulnerable to the anger, could you do a calming exercise before that event to settle you?
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Creative Pursuits
Expressing yourself creatively can give expression to the anger that you hold. Art, dance, drama, journaling, blogging are some examples of creative expression. Imagine what it is that you might enjoy creating and have a go. Creative pursuits allow the anger to be expressed and its energy released, in a positive way.
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Volunteering your time for others
I have found that individuals who struggle with anger, are frequently highly compassionate people who are strongly motivated to help others. When you choose to focus on how you can help others more (in particular your family who will get a full serving of your anger fairly regularly) rather than focusing on having your own needs met, you will feel better about yourself and the anger will diminish.
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Pursuing your dreams
As a young person you had a dream about who you wanted to become and what you wanted to achieve. What happened to your dream? Have you achieved it or has ‘life’ got in the way? When you are doing what you have a passion and vision for, you will find that anger will lose its power. How could you get back in touch with your dreams?
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Deal with unresolved issues
This is the most difficult because it is about honest self- reflection. While you choose to blame others for your anger, you will continue to hold on to it. When you are willing to go to the places within yourself that hold pain and begin to talk it, you are on the road to healing.
Do you struggle to control your anger? Do you have a loved one who experiences frequent or uncontrollable anger? Here’s what you need to do: Contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10 minute consultation on how we can best help you or book online now.
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