• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Watersedge Counselling

Counselling, Coaching & Spiritual Direction

  • Home
  • About Us
    • About Duncan
    • About Rachel
    • About Colleen
  • Services
    • Anger Management
    • Grief and Bereavement
    • Supervision and Coaching
    • Couples Counselling
    • Transition
    • Trauma
    • The Enneagram
  • Blog
  • FAQ
  • Contact Us
  • Book Now
The real reasons kids ‘act out’

The real reasons kids ‘act out’

March 17, 2017 By Colleen Morris Leave a Comment

The-real-reasons-kids-act-out

A few weeks ago, Warcry magazine approached Colleen about the issue of parenting children who are acting out. Here is what she shared with them.

It takes some hefty detective work to understand why your child is ‘acting out’, writes Colleen Morris.

A parent needs to be patient, curious, observant and attentive to what their child’s behaviour is trying to call attention to. Here are seven common reasons your kids may be struggling.

Marital conflict

Negative behaviours such as bickering, criticism, sarcasm, yelling and fighting create an environment that is stressful and unpredictable. Often a child acts out to draw parents’ attention away from each other and therefore lessen the tension in the relationship.

Parental separation

The years following a parental separation can cause emotional distress for children. Sadness, guilt and anger can all drive a child to ‘act out’ because they feel their whole world has been dismantled.

Grief

A child’s grief is as keen as your own and has no set time limit or method. The loss of a parent, grandparent, close friend or a pet are life experiences that are frequently confusing, sad and, when not given expression, can be toxic to our body and our emotions.

Loneliness

Being ‘time poor’ is one of the hazards of our fast-paced lifestyle. Many parents are simply preoccupied with the challenges of daily life, so when we fail to notice that one of our children is lonely and needing our attention, they can look for ways to draw attention to themselves.

Physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse

How does a child talk to a parent about ‘the unmentionable’ without feeling shame, terror, embarrassment or fear of not being believed? There are times when the abuse is within the family context—sometimes it is a family friend or neighbour, sometimes it is someone bullying them at school, and at other times it is happening in cyberspace. Acting out may be a ‘cry for help’ in this instance.

Rigid rules and unrealistic expectations

When children are young, parents create rules and boundaries—spoken and unspoken—that define acceptable behaviour. As our children grow and develop, we must continually redefine these. When a parent’s rules remain rigid and unrealistic with regard to their child’s changing world, a child typically feels resentful, annoyed and angry.

Generational trauma

When unaddressed and unresolved, you or your parents’ past trauma continues to be alive and present in the experience of your children.

Where there has been war, abandonment, neglect and other extremely traumatic experiences, the pain and distress of the past will continue to find its echo in the present as long as it is unacknowledged and the impact unrecognised.

Learning how to listen attentively, build trust and teach your child to name their emotions are vital for their behaviour to settle. If your child is acting out, sit down and listen to them. By addressing the real issues you can build trust with them during this difficult time.

Is your child ‘acting out’? Are you concerned about your kids’ wellbeing? Call Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10 minute consultation. To make an appointment, go to BOOK NOW.

Tweet

Filed Under: Families Tagged With: child, children, children behavior, marital conflict, parenting, parenting issues

About Colleen Morris

Colleen is a counsellor and family therapist who founded Watersedge Counselling. To read more of her work or book an appointment click here.

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Footer CTA

Address

117-119 Aphrasia St, Newtown
Geelong, Victoria 3220

Search

Recent Posts

  • What is an Incel? Understanding Toxic Masculinity and the Internet Sub Culture
  • The Enneagram: The personality theory that will change your relationships
  • 5 fun activities to strengthen the relationship with your kids
  • How to spot the Red Flags in a Potential Partner
  • How to support Neurodivergence in the workplace

Copyright © 2025 Watersedge Counselling · Site Developed by MyGreatWebs

We acknowledge that we work on the traditional land of Wadda Wurrung people and honour and pay our respects to their Elders past, present and future.