How to keep calm when conflict strikes

how-to-keep-calm-when-conflict-strikes

Everyone encounters conflict sometime during the day. It might happen when you’re trying to get out the door by a certain time, and your teenager is adamant they will take their time in the bathroom.

Or perhaps it’s at work, when a colleague questions your decision. You may even encounter it with your spouse or partner on a regular basis.

Conflict is a part of life. And while some people try to avoid it at all costs, there are others who embrace it—perhaps even create it—because they relish in the back-and-forth.

Whether you have a love or hate relationship with conflict, it’s important that you learn how to deal with it healthily. That means not running from it, and not perpetuating it. Rather, it’s about using it as a tool to bring about a better conclusion for everyone involved.

All that to say—it’s not easy navigating conflict; which is why it’s essential you have the tools you need to deal with it.

This infographic by Cashnet USA shows us why our brain and body responds so readily to conflict, and gives us some handy tools to ease the tension when we sense ourselves (or someone else) having a heightened emotional response.

Choosing to take deep breaths, lowering your voice, changing your posture and even choosing to disengage are all helpful strategies when conflict strikes. Not only do they help you to reframe the situation, but they give the person you disagree with an opportunity to calm so you can find a peaceful resolution.

Take a look at the infographic below, and see what you learn about conflict. What step can you take home with you this week?

how-to-calm-brain-V2-1-optimized

Do you run from conflict, or do you instigate it? Do you feel angry and struggle to maintain your composure during conflict? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book on our online diary.

How Paying Attention to your Emotional Energy Can Improve your Relationships

How-Paying-Attention-to-your-Emotional-Energy-Can-Improve-your-Relationships

Did you know the heart has an electromagnetic field that goes way beyond our physical body? In this infographic by The Heartmath Institute, we learn about how the heart and brain work together, affecting our emotional and physical health.

The Heartmath Institute talk about ‘emotional coherence’, which is the practice of focusing our positive emotion on the heart. This in turn sends positive signals to the brain and our entire magnetic field, and explains why couples, parents and children are so emotionally sensitive and frequently reactive to one another.

When you practice emotional coherence, it has positive implications on your personal health and wellbeing, your close relationships and ultimately the world around you. Take a look at the infographic below and find out how emotionally healthy your heart is.

the-mysteries-of-the-heart

Are you affected by the emotions and energy of your loved ones? Would you like to know more about emotional coherence? Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.

Why Do We ‘Flip Our Lid’?

We all have moments when we feel so overwhelmed by emotions that we ‘flip our lid.’ For some people this happens quite frequently, and their short fuse means they are consistently ‘losing it’ and acting out in erratic or irrational ways. For others this only happens occasionally, but when we do all hell breaks loose, and we scare the people around us with our behaviour.

In this short video by NeuroLeadership, Dr Daniel Siegel MD, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, shows us what happens in the brain when we flip our lid and our daily emotional journey becomes too much for us. Using a hand model to represent the brain, Dr Siegel simplifies the science of the process and makes it easier for adults and children to understand.

Showing the different areas of the brain, from the spine (the wrist), to the cortex (the outer hand), we see how every part of our brain and our emotions work together. When we’re overwhelmed, we can feel ourselves ‘flipping our lid’. When this happens, we are no longer flexible or capable of handling the situation. Instead we are agitated and can lose our moral reasoning.

Does this happen to you? Perhaps after a long day at work your child does something that triggers you to ‘flip your lid,’ or your partner doesn’t do something ‘right’ after you continually have asked them to do so, so you lash out at them in anger and stress.

Using the hand model, Dr Siegel explains that we can bring ourselves down from these heightened moments and repair our relationships. Saying, “When we can see in front of us, what is going on in the brain, we can change what the brain does,” his model empowers us to understand what is happening inside of us when tension begins to rise.

So instead of being overwhelmed when we feel our emotions triggering us to ‘flip our lid,’ we can teach our children to tell us when they need space. In our relationships, it may be a matter of knowing you are stressed and telling your partner you’re about to lose it, or perhaps there are some situations you need to avoid on the days you feel your emotions rising and overriding your frontal, rational reasoning.

Watch the video below and let us know how Dr Siegel’s hand model helps you.

Do you often ‘flip your lid’? Do you need help managing your stress and emotions? Then here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245  for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how she can best help you, or press book now to book on the online diary.