The Enneagram and Colouring

The Enneagram and Colouring

The world has hopped on the bandwagon of colouring books and Mindfulness, and we’ve talked before about why colouring is such a great practice. So when an email arrived in our inbox about a new colouring book, we took a keen interest—especially when its topic was our other great passion, The Enneagram.

That’s right. Along with your colouring books dedicated to cats, cities of the world and Harry Potter, you can now get an Enneagram-related colouring book.

Created by Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, a foremost expert on The Enneagram in leadership, The Enneagram Colouring Book includes pages on each number and its origins, as well as the consciousness and transformation. You can find out more and pick up a copy here.

Front back

The Enneagram is our personality theory of choice, because it defines the instinctual actions of each person and allows people to better understand why they behave in their healthiest, and unhealthiest, states.

For more details on The Enneagram, head to our Enneagram page for free downloads on each personality type. You can also see our blog on the basics on the Enneagram in relationships here.

Do you want to know more about the Enneagram? Would you like to better understand yourself and the people around you? Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.

The Enneagram In Popular Culture: Harry Potter

HP Enneagram

Background image via hogwartsishere.com

We had such an amazing response to our Enneagram infographics that we decided to explore the personality theory even further. To give you further insight into types 1 to 9 and help you identify these personality types in your own life, we decided to delve into pop culture. Starting with the characters of Harry Potter, we hope that our Enneagram in Popular Culture series makes the functions of the Enneagram easier to understand for you.

So let’s take a look at the characters of Harry Potter and see what they can teach us about the differences within each type. Take a look at our infographic below, then scroll to the bottom of the page for our explanation of how these beloved characters display each personality type.

Harry Potter enneagram

Type 1: The Reformer

Aptly sitting in Type 1, Harry Potter and Professor Dumbledore perfectly sum up the heroic traits of The Reformer. Both are driven by a pursuit of justice, believe in treating people with dignity and are willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. Charismatic leaders, they are at their best when they learn to accept the help and affection of the people around them. These characters struggle when they internalise their emotions and resist the help of others, thus becoming the ‘martyr’.

Type 2: The Helper

The vastly different characters in Type 2 show us the differences that exist even within a single personality type. Dobby, Ginny Weasley and Professor McGonagall are all behind-the-scenes characters that will go to any length to help and heal their friends, yet they each show this in different ways.

Dobby finds his purpose in the approval of others, so we see him driven to extreme lengths to help Harry, often to his own detriment. Ginny is happy to sit back and allow others to take the lead, yet can tap into her 1 wing when she needs to fight. McGonagall has a harsher edge to her Type 2 due to the drive that comes from her 3 wing.

Type 3: The Achiever

There really is no greater Achiever than Hermione Granger­­–unless you consider Percy Weasley of course! These two characters show us the healthy and unhealthy ends of the personality type. While Hermione starts off feeling isolated and pushing people away due to her own competence, we see her develop into a healthy Type 3 who allows her friends to soften her independence, complimenting them with her knowledge and determination.

On the other hand, Percy chooses to stay in his unhealthy state, living with the belief that no one else can meet his extreme standards. Consequently he cuts off the people he loves the most.

Type 4: The Romantic

In fiction and in life, this type often holds the most variety in personality traits due to the unique nature of The Romantic. In Luna Lovegood we see a healthy Type 4. She is open and friendly, willing to hear the ideas of others and will accept them without changing her own values.

Alternatively, Draco Malfoy is so uncomfortable in his own skin that he compensates with his façade of being a bully and manipulator. Voldermort is also an unhealthy 4, but instead of recognising his own vulnerabilities he has chosen to get completely immersed in his own reality. Falling into an unhealthy 3 wing, he is an underhanded and destructive leader who lives with his own sense of truth and idealism.

Type 5: The Cynic

Severus Snape is the quintessential Type 5. He hoards knowledge, isolating himself and meticulously observing everything around him. Driven by the loyalty of his 6 wing, he comes out of his shell only when he is shown understanding and love. Alternatively, Filch is perfectly comfortable in his cynicism and he chooses to remain closed to the affection of everyone (except his cat). He relishes in his difference and power, tapping into his 4 wing when he communicates with people.

Type 6: The Loyalist

Type 6’s are the dark horses who often pop up unexpectedly with heroic acts. Both Neville Longbottom and Remus Lupin are driven by their loyalty to friends and the cause they believe in. Neville must overcome his own doubts, plucking up the courage to stand his own ground and truly embrace his own strength. Much older and more developed in his Type 6 idiosyncrasies, Lupin is more comfortable with his own abilities and convictions, using them to mentor Harry and his friends.

Type 7: The Adventurer

Wild and unhinged are two words that describe Sirius Black and the Weasley twins well. Type 7’s are driven by the pursuit of the unknown. They want to explore, push the boundaries of what is expected of them and question authority. In Sirius we see this in the form of a darker, more tortured soul who chooses to be reckless. Alternatively, Fred and George Weasley are still quite young and naive, using their spirit to rebel against the status quo and make their friends laugh.

Type 8: The Challenger

Mad Eye Moody is a hero who sacrifices himself for the good of others and Professor Umbridge is a villain who inflicts pain on people. So what do they have uncommon? They are both motivated by their need to challenge what they believe is wrong.

Mad Eye is abrasive and rough, never shying from a battle and adhering to his strict sense of what is right and wrong. Umbridge is also abrasive, but in a more subtle, passive-aggressive way. Completely stuck in her own warped morals, she relishes in the pain of others, bullying them in the belief that it will benefit the greater good.

Type 9: The Mediator

Both Ron Weasley and Hagrid try to keep their emotions at bay to avoid conflict. Ron reacts passive-aggressively when challenged because he hates the thought of confronting his own struggles, yet he is a loyal friend and uses humour to break tense situations.

Hagrid responds to conflict by going into denial, shutting down and refusing to acknowledge the trouble in and around him. When these characters are healthy they are some of most sincere friends you could find. When they are unhealthy, they will act recklessly and you might as well be talking to a brick wall.

Would you like to better understand yourself and the people around you? Do you want to learn more about the Enneagram? Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.

The Enneagram: Type 8 —The Protector

The-Enneagram-Type-8-The-Protector

This week we look at the last Enneagram personality type on our list, Type 8- The Protector. The Protector is not one to sink into the shadows, and they are compelled to not only speak up, but to take charge and implement justice. At their best they are captivating leaders, strong willed and empathetic to the people around them. When they are unhealthy, they can be perceived as bullies and act from an inner guilt that makes them domineering.

Take a look at our infographic below for more details about Type 8. Make sure you visit our Enneagram page to find out more about Types 1-9 and get our free downloads!

The-Enneagram-Type-8-The-Protector-Infographic

Are you a Type 8? Would you like to better understand yourself or the Type 8’s around you? Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.

The Enneagram: Type 4 —The Romantic

Are you artistic? Do have a certain flair for creativity and love being unique? Chances are you are a Type 4 on the Enneagram. Also known as The Romantic, Type 4’s are often identified by their intense emotions and depth of introspection. At their best they can communicate ideas and stories with passion and brilliance, at their worst they are egocentric and can be jealous.

You can find out more about Type 4’s in our infographic. Keep your eyes out for further instalments in our Enneagram series, and remember you can find our free downloads here.

The Enneagram: Type 4 – The Romantic

Are you a Type 4? Would you like to better understand yourself or the Type 4’s around you? Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.

Coaching: The Resource That Will Change Your Life

Woman Holding a Compass in a LabyrinthI have a very active imagination and have always loved stories that transport me to a different reality with all its new possibilities. Thus Rick Riordan’s novels have been a delightful discovery, drawing me into the world of Greek mythology with its’ Gods, demigods and monsters in a constant struggle for supremacy in both the godly and human realm. ‘The Battle of The Labyrinth’, the 4th book in the Percy Jackson and The Olympians series, features the discovery of a secret opening to a Labyrinth – an elaborate underground maze that has the ability to confound the traveller by continually changing and reinventing itself. Only by using a piece of thread tied to the point of entry, was the traveller able to successfully survive and return from the Labyrinth. As I reflect upon the Labyrinth, it is symbolic of the complexity that we call ‘being human’.

We all have a secret Labyrinth under the surface of our ‘public self ’ – the ‘private self’ is that part of you that only your most intimate friends are privileged to know. Your ‘public self’, is the personality you have grown into since infancy as you learnt to interact with your environment. You learnt that it was not always in your best interests to respond authentically and so you began to adapt and conform to the expectations of your environment and your personal need for survival and safety. In this way, your ‘private self’ was protected and kept hidden.

Many people ‘forget’ that they have a ‘private self’. Your coping strategy has been so efficient that it has felt ‘normal’ to function as you do. However it is part of life’s experience that as you transition from childhood through to adulthood, your normal way of coping becomes less effective or even ineffective and the degree of stress and dis-stress increases. Frequently this realisation does not come upon us until you reach a point of crisis: a relationship gone wrong, bereavement, marriage breakdown, retrenchment, a crippling physical or mental health issue. A crisis forces you to stop and take a good, hard look at yourself. It invites you to look beneath the surface of yourself (if you dare) and discover who you really are. This is where a resource such as The Enneagram becomes a valuable tool for self-awareness and personal growth.Head with maze

The Enneagram can be a guide to your own personal Labyrinth. It reveals and explores the complexity of your inner self, strengths and weakness, motivators and fears, directing you to your own unique road for growth and wholeness. Do you have that ‘thread’ that ‘anchors’ your journey through your own inner Labyrinth? Do you even know where to begin? I commend The Enneagram to you as a great resource and personal tool to your journey.

If you would like to know more about The Enneagram, further introductory articles are available in Watersedgecounselling’s archives: Relationships: 3 Secrets To Manage Conflict in Your Relationship;

 

If you would like to explore your ‘inner Labyrinth’ but don’t know where to start, a Professional Counsellor is skilled in facilitating your journey to greater self-awareness (Please note – The Enneagram is a resource that I use when working with clients however every Professional Counsellor has their own differing and preferred style and resources).

If you would like to know more about The Enneagram and how it can enhance your growth, wellness and potential you can contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or make an appointment online immediately for a personal consultation.

Relationships: 3 Secrets To Manage Conflict in Your Relationship

IMG_8311Are you in a relationship where your partner is quick to anger and insists on confronting the issue when you are not ready to? Do you struggle to understand why your partner ‘shuts down' refusing to speak', when you would prefer to deal with the issue immediately? Does your partner often take a certain course of action without consulting you, failing to understand why you get so upset about this? These scenarios are representative of some of the common complaints that couples bring to counselling. Our response to these dilemmas is something along the lines, ‘Why can't you be more like me?' In my recent article, ‘9 Keys to Strengthen and Improve Your Relationships' I gave 9 keys or statements that indicate what personality type a person is. Each of these keys fall into one of 3 centres: the head-centre, the heart – centre or the gut- centre. I invite you to read the description of each of these and tick the points  that apply to you. The centre with the most ticks is very likely to be the centre you predominantly operate from. You might like to invite your partner to do this same exercise and compare your responses.

The Head- Centred person or Thinker (Keys 5, 6 & 7)

* Predominant emotion is fear. * Gives ground. * Indecisive – processing, analysing and weighing up all the data, the thinker acknowledges that life is not black and white but all shades of gray and that every perspective holds its own truth. * Action centre is underdeveloped. * Relys on outer authority, comfortable with rules, structure and authority . * Basic life instinct is to be empathic, attuned to the situation. * Basic life question is ‘Where am I?'

The Gut-Centred person or Feeler (Keys 8, 9 & 1)

* Predominant emotion is anger but they have little control over it. * Have difficulty listening and absent-minded. * Holds their ground; planted;rooted. * Decisive – ‘yes means yes and no means no'. * Low value of perception, therefore least developed. * Relys on their own inner authority, having high expectations of self that is dictated by ‘shoulds' and ‘oughts'. * Basic life instinct is survival. * Basic life question is ‘ How safe am I ?'

The Heart-Centred person or Doer (2, 3 &4)

* Most in touch with their action centre, and have an instinct for imitation. * Feeling centre is underdeveloped, being most out of touch with anger. * They take ground, having a lack of psychic boundaries, moving in to the psychic space of others. * Their predominant emotion is anxiety. * Basic life instinct is relationships, understanding others through analysis. * Basic life question is ‘Who am I with?'

For your relationship to truly benefit from this knowledge, it is not enough to have insight into the differing way you each function. For change to occur, you must be willing to be more accepting of the way your partner functions and prepared to work on those aspects of your own functioning that have a negative impact in your relationship. This is never easy because it forces you to stretch yourself in ways that you will experience as uncomfortable and unfamiliar. When both people in a relationship choose to do this, change begins to heppen. I encourage you to seek the support of a professional counsellor who will help facilitate this growth process in your relationship.

If you  are experiencing conflict in your relationship, want to grow, experience wellness and reach toward your full relational potential then here’s what you need to do contact me on 0434 337 245  for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how I can best help you or press book now to book on my online diary.

Relationships: 9 Keys to Strengthen and Improve Your Relationships

light_by_captivatedimages-d5dvvlqDo you get along with most people? My own experience when working with people suggests that whilst most of us get on with most people, there are always certain people that we find difficult to understand and get on with.

Sometimes you may struggle to understand why a person thinks the way they do, or holds a differing belief or value system to you evoking anger in you or by contrast, intimidation. Sometimes you feel irritated by a particular person or find yourself in frequent conflict or you just don’t like them for no apparent reason. Getting along with people is a skill we all need but how and where do we learn the skill?

Your family of origin is the context in which you learn how to do relationships, as you observe your parents or significant care-givers relational style. As a child, you developed your own relational style within your family context, responding to the specific stressors and challenges you experienced. If there were frequent arguments between your parents, you may have taken on the role of a mediator, prioritizing the need to keep things peaceful and settled. If your father was abusive towards your mother, you may have taken the role of protector out of the need to defend your mother. Some of us feel very isolated and abandoned as children. If that was the case for you, you may experience yourself as being different to others, having learned to live within your own imagination.

Relational styles vary. Have you noticed that some people seem to get on with others effortlessly whilst others struggle to get on with people?  Whilst your relational style worked for you as a child within your family context, as an adult you are exposed to a much broader range of relational styles that frequently challenge the way you do relationships. This becomes particularly apparent when you experience a life crisis and discover that the skills you have relied upon to relate to others, no longer work and even keep you stuck in problematic situations. It is at this stage, people often choose to see a counselling professional in order to understand themselves and others in relationship.

It was during a period of personal crisis that I became aware that I needed to understand myself at a deeper level and change the way I related to other people. At that time I was experiencing chronic depression and felt crippled by fear. I withdrew from life, seeking to protect myself from other people’s judgements and expectations, feeling inadequate and insignificant. My recovery from depression was significantly facilitated by the decision to pursue personal self-awareness and the way my relational style impacted others in relationship.

Whether you are at a time of personal life crisis and/or relationship crisis or simply want to strengthen and grow your relationships, I recommend these 9 keys (known as The Enneagram). These 9 keys provided me with a very accurate psychological tool that helped me understand and work effectively with other people instead of being fearful of them. I have since used this tool in every area of my life; my marriage relationship, my family relationships, my personal friendships, my workplace relationships and in my work as a therapist.

These 9 keys give insight into what a particular personality type values and prides themselves on. By identifying the others personality type on the enneagram, you begin to become aware of how they function and how to initiate a relationship based on an appreciation of one another’s strengths and differences.

Here are the 9 keys to strengthen and improve your relationships:

Type 1    The Perfectionist; ‘I am right’

Type 2    The Giver; ‘I am helpful'

Type 3    The Performer; ‘I am successful’

Type 4    The Romantic; ‘I am different’

Type 5    The Observer; ‘I am knowledgeable and wise’

Type 6    The Loyal Sceptic; ‘I am loyal’

Type 7    The Epicurist; ‘I am fun’

Type 8    The Protector; ‘I am strong’

Type 9    The Mediator; ‘I am settled’

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When you begin to pay closer attention to what a person is saying you will hear what a person frequently states or implies about them. Noticing what a person prides themselves on, you can start to appeal to that part of them.

For example, to get along with a Type 1, you need to allow them to feel that you value their advice by asking them what they think, listening carefully, and giving respect to what they say. Whether you agree or not, this person is more likely to support you, because you have given value to them. To get along with a Type 4 it is important to acknowledge that they are different, invite them to share their unique perspective and in particular their creativity. Give them the creative director job and they will do it with flair!

If you want to know more about these 9 keys, look out for more articles to help you to understand your self and others so that you can continue to strengthen and grow your relationships.

 If you want to grow personally and in your relationships, experience wellness and reach toward your full relational potential then here’s what you need to do contact me on 0434 337 245  for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how I can best help you or press book now to book on my online diary.