A broken heart cannot simply be ‘fixed’. There is no quick remedy, and the healing process can take any amount of time. In fact, the emotional trauma that comes with a relationship break down is akin to a broken body part. Just as we allow our arm to be set and cast in order for it to heal over time, we need to do the same with a broken heart.
So how do we heal a broken heart? There are short term solutions scattered all over the internet, and many good (and bad) remedies will also come from well meaning friends. The healing process will look different for everyone, but here are 7 methods that will help you through the process that can be adapted to fit your own needs.
- Let yourself feel
We have a tendency to run away from our emotions when we are in pain, and we try to dull them with substances, sex, activities or food. The first step towards healing is letting yourself feel; the good, the bad, the regret, the anger and the fear. Feel it all, cry, and acknowledge that these emotions are living inside of you. Don’t deny their existence, it will just make the process more difficult.
- Express your emotions
Don’t allow your feelings to fester inside of you, get them out by journaling, making music, creating art or finding a secluded place to yell and get your emotions out. There is no right or wrong way to do this, so choose a method that feels the most natural to you.
A broken heart is perhaps the most private sort of pain, but it’s important you share this with someone. Catch up with a friend you trust, and talk over coffee. Be selective in who you share this time with—you don’t need advice, you just need support. Spend time with a good listener, someone who is happy to sit with you in silence. Invite them into your pain because this will help you heal.
- Limit your self-pity
It’s okay to have moments of self-pity, hiding away and indulging in ice cream—this is often your response to the shock of the event. But if you’re still in this place a couple of weeks post-breakup, you need to change things. Sure, life sucks right now. You are allowed to be miserable, but don’t let this ruin the good things ahead. Take small steps and re-enter the outside world. Go for a run, see a friend, take a walk by the beach. Start doing things that are good for your heart again.
Are you angry? Go to the gym and get out your frustration. Are you sad? Run until you have no more tears left. Are you hollow? Walk in the sunshine until you can feel its warmth on your skin. Just move and remind your body that it is alive, ready to feel and heal.
- Embrace the arts
You are not alone in your pain. Millions of people before you have written books, songs and movies about the experience, and in some way, their words and melodies will help you recover. Read a book about a fascinating person who has overcome great odds. Watch a movie that makes you happy and sad all at once. Listen to music that reminds you it is good to be alive. Art has a way of connecting with us on a deeper level than logic, and by embracing it you soothe your heart.
- See a counsellor
If you’re really struggling after a break up or have been in a long-term relationship, seeing a counsellor can help you through this difficult season. It’s not petty or silly to talk to a professional about these things—in fact; it’s essential to your health. Find a professional who will unpack the experience and help you to process what the future looks like. In time, things will get easier and you will be ready to love again.
Do you have a broken heart? Are you afraid you’ll never find love again? Here’s what you need to do: contact WatersedgeCounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now to book in our online diary.