How to find love (and keep it) with Adam LoDolce of Sexy Confidence

When it comes to romantic relationships, everyone seems to have more questions than answers—except for Adam LoDolce. For the last several years, he has been coaching women on how to find the love they deserve through his brand Sexy Confidence. He has been featured on CNN, MTV and Women’s Health, and has helped 83 million women find their own sexy confidence.

Adam was kind enough to answer some questions for us about dating myths, why self-confidence is the key to sexiness, and how he took the path to become one of the top dating experts in the world

WE: How and why did Sexy Confidence start?

AL: I actually used to teach men how to go out and date women—confidence techniques and how to be more sociable, how to have great body language and what to say when going out and meeting women. I was featured in CNN and a ton of other websites, and randomly I had one article that was featured in Glamour.

I had so many women reaching out to me for advice about men. And I found out that, as I was getting these questions, I actually know more about attraction for women than I do about attraction for men.

At that point I decided I was going to start a new brand called Sexy Confidence purely giving advice to women on my YouTube channel. Within about 6 months it absolutely blew up, and I stopped coaching men and focused all my attention there.

WE: What is the number one concern women come to you with?

AL: Ultimately, it really is that the guy that they want or are attracted to doesn’t want to commit to them. It is generally an issue of commitment. They started seeing a guy and he’s great, and he’s fun—great chemistry, great sex, all that stuff. But he doesn’t actually want a relationship. Then what do they do? That is a concern.

WE: What are the biggest myths women believe about relationships?

AL: One of the biggest myths is that you should wait for love to come to you. Just sit back, and it will come when you least expect it. I think that’s a huge myth. I think it’s key to get out there and push yourself.

I always coach and suggest that my clients go out and be confident in themselves and go out and meet people. It doesn’t mean you should just straight up go and hit on a guy, but definitely out yourself in scenarios where you can be social and meet lots of new people.

WE: Why is it so important women fully understand and appreciate their self worth before they enter a relationship?

AL: Because ultimately you set the standard for how people treat you. If you find yourself in a bad relationship with a guy who doesn’t treat you well, and you just take it, don’t do anything about it, and don’t set a standard, then he’s just going to keep treating you that way. I find that’s true in life with any relationships—not just romantic.

WE: What is the first step a woman should take who wants to re-enter the dating scene after a big break up?

AL: The biggest thing is to take time to rediscover your identity and enjoy just being single again. Don’t feel like you just have to jump right back into the singles scene right after a breakup.

WE: How has understanding the female mindset and empowering women helped you in your own life?

AL: It has certainly helped me in my own relationship. I’ve been with Jessica for over three years now, and every single day I hear something new from women and I always take in that knowledge and try and be more empathetic and more understanding with my own interpersonal relationship, because relationships are always hard in some way.

In some way, all relationships are a bit messy in life; so don’t assume that it’s got to be absolutely perfect. Every dating and relationship coach I’ve ever met has their own troubles in their own relationships. Not always major troubles, I don’t myself. But it’s never perfect. 

WE: Why have you dedicated your life to helping women become sexy confident?

AL: My whole goal with Sexy Confidence is to help women be more confident and help them love themselves for who they are, and that is the key to being happy with your life. Because no matter what—even if you are single or are in a relationship, you can still be happy with who you are.

To find more out about Adam and Sexy Confidence, visit SexyConfidence.com.

If you have recently experienced a break up and believe that your relationship can and should be saved, you can also see his new Winning Him Back program about recovering from heartbreak. 

Are you looking for love? Is there conflict in your romantic relationship you can’t resolve, or have you gone through a recent heartbreak? Here’s what you need to do: contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243, or BOOK ONLINE NOW to book in our online diary.

 

How to Respond When People Expect You to Be In a Relationship

By Jessica Morris

How to Respond When People Expect You to Be In a RelationshipMaybe it’s strange for a young adult to say this, but I actually like being single. That’s not to say I want to stay this way forever, but I see that I am able to participate in life with a certain amount of freedom that I would not otherwise possess if I had a significant other. Often, I feel like other people don’t understand this. I feel a cloud that weighs like cement on my chest telling me I am somehow ‘behind’ everyone else, or that I am not quite ‘normal’ because I am single. Do you ever feel like this? Whether you have recently had a relationship break down, have been divorced or maybe just have not found the ‘right’ person yet, there seems to be an increasing pressure to ‘recover’ from this, like it is a disease. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like singleness is something to be overcome or remedied. In fact, I think it’s an entirely plausible way of living. It is far better to be happy, healthy and single than in a relationship with someone who makes you unhappy for the sake of being in a relationship. This is not to say people in relationships should not work at them, or receive help and support when they are struggling. But I know that when I enter a relationship, I want it to be for the right reasons, not just because I want to fit certain social expectations.

Maybe you are like me, and are single and are tired of the pressure to ‘mingle’ from your friends and family. Informing them that there is no one on the scene can become a mundane and frustrating routine at family functions, often because it reinforces the fact that you are alone around the newlyweds or expectant parents. It’s important to remember that often people will ask you about your relationship status because they genuinely care about your happiness, but we all know there are times people are just being nosy. Next time you attend that family dinner or engagement party, here are five responses you can use to field the uncomfortable ‘singleness’ questions and hopefully have those you are closest to understand that at this point in your life, it’s healthy.

 1. I don’t feel ready to date anybody yet.

It may be blatantly honest, but sometimes this is the best way to have people understand why you are single. Irrespective of what your friends and family say, it is your choice to date if and when you want too.

2. I haven’t found anyone yet.

Of course this response will be met with questions about your lifestyle, but no one can argue with the fact that you are allowed to have standards and expect a mutual attraction to be present before even considering entering a relationship.

3. I’m happy the way I am at the moment, thanks for asking.

Your happiness is your prerogative, if you are happier being single then thank them for their interest and move the conversation on.

4. I’ve been dating a few people, but no one’s connected with me yet.

Letting people know that you have been making an effort in the relationship department should put a damper on their questions, while validating their desire for you to eventually find happiness with another person.

5. It wouldn’t work with (insert name of family friend) because I’m not attracted to them.

If you have friends and family constantly trying to ‘set you up’ with that friend of a friend, take a step back and pause to consider what they are saying before you shut them down. Are you attracted to this person, and is there any merit in getting to know them? If not, be honest. Just because two people are single doesn’t mean they should be in a relationship.

 

About Jessica Morris

Jessica Morris is a 23 year-old free-lance journalist living near Melbourne, Australia. Passionate about pop culture and how this intersects with mental health, faith and social justice; she seeks represent this generation within the media. You can view her work at www.jessicamorris.net

Are you single and not coping? Have you recently experienced a break up and do you feel the need to talk to someone to adjust? Do you want to grow and reach your personal potential? If so contact Watersedgecounselling on 0434 337 245 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you or press book now to book in our online diary.